Charlie Sheen Talkin' Sh*t About Donald Trump's Cheap Ass Fugazi Wedding Present
If there is anyone we would guess would be a Donald Trump fan, it would be fellow unstable person and woman collector Charlie Sheen! They have a lot in common, really; they both hate Obama, and they both say really, incredibly bizarre things all the time like they are normal things to say, ostensibly due to having lived in a weird rich person bubble for too long of a time. OH, and they both like yelling about #WINNING a lot.
BUT WE WOULD BE WRONG!
As it turns out, Charlie Sheen is not a Trumpkin, though not for any political reason. He doesn't like him because, as he explained this weekend on "The Graham Norton Show," one time Trump gave Sheen a pair of his very own fancy Harry Winston cufflinks for Sheen's wedding, and they later turned out to be some kind of cheap fugazi* crap from whatever the man version of Claire's is.
[*Editor's note: Robyn informs me "fugazi" means "fake," and no she wasn't talking about the BAND FOR OLDS WHY ARE YOU SO OLD, GOD! OLDIE.]
Via Daily Beast:
“I am reminded of a time about five years ago. I was at a dinner with my ex-wife Brooke [Mueller] and her family and this and that, and about halfway through I noticed Donald staring at my watch. And so he started saying, ‘Listen… I’m sorry that I can’t make your wedding,’ and I was [thinking], I didn’t invite you. So he says, ‘But I want to give you an early wedding gift as a gesture from me and Melania.’ And she doesn’t say a word. She’s very sweet and very pretty, but just kind of sits there, ya know?” recalled Sheen.
“[Trump] says, ‘These are platinum diamond Harry Winston,’ and he pulls off his cuff links and he gives them to me,” he continued. “And so I’m like, ‘Oh gosh, Mr. Trump, you really shouldn’t do this,’ and he goes, ‘No, no, it’s the least I can do.’”
“So smash-cut to about six months later, I have some jewelry getting appraised at the house and she finished and was leaving, and I said, ‘Oh yeah, you know there’s a couple other pieces I have that I’m very curious about. Would you mind appraising these?’” said Sheen. “She said, ‘Oh, what are they?’ I explained the dinner, this and that, these are from Donald Trump, Harry Winston, flawless Ds, platinum. She took the loupe, spent about four seconds, and kind of recoiled from it — much like people do from Trump.”
“So [the appraiser] says, ‘In their finest moment, these are cheap pewter and bad zirconias.’ And they’re stamped ‘Trump.’ And I just thought, ‘What does this really say about the man? That he said this is a great wedding gift, and it’s just a bag of dogshit?’”
Now, knowing Trump as we do, it seems highly likely that The Donald was super bitter about not being invited to the wedding, and given that he had not the ability to curse their firstborn child, decided to give them a real cheap present instead and pretend it was way fancy. Though it is actually pretty weird that he would even bother having "TRUMP" stamped into some cheap ass cufflinks. Either that or he loses his cufflinks all the time and Melania had fake ones secretly made up so he wouldn't lose the nice ones, and that was why she wasn't saying anything? Or a thief stole them and replaced them with cheap replicas? Probably not, though! Going with the first option! Either that or he was just hoping they'd never bother getting them appraised and figured they'd just assume the cufflinks were real because he is THE DONALD.
Still, a lot of this sounds like a euphemism for his Presidential campaign. He loves to promise great things, but what he actually delivers will turn your skin green.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse