Charming MMA Guy Explains Why His Girlfriend Should Make Him Coffee He Doesn't Drink
After four years of Donald Trump and lord knows how many years of MGTOWs ("Men Going Their Own Way") and Incels and the general "manosphere," one might think it is impossible to be shocked by any cafone bullshit. But it is always possible for things to get worse/more stupid.
Meet Andrew Tate. Andrew Tate — who it turns out is some kind of MMA fighter — appeared on the podcast of some other chooch who calls himself "Dating Coach Steve" and shared what he believes is an "Example of Healthy Masculine/Feminine Polarity" from his own life.
Before you watch, allow me to note that the Instagram post of this same video clip includes the caption "@cobratate with an example of how men and women are not equal but compliment each other instead." Just to prepare you for what you are about to see and hear.
Andrew Tate reveals how he maintains healthy male / female, masculine / feminine polarity. #dating #datinghack #datingexpert #datingadvice #realtalk
One of my chicks, I'd make her make me two coffees every morning. She'd make me two coffees. And one I would drink and the other I wouldn't even drink, I would just leave it to go cold.
And she'd say "Why do you make me make you two coffees, the second one's just like an insult because you never drink it, you just make me make it, cause you want me to bring it to you, but you're not going to drink it."
And I said, if someone broke into this house at night, I will die trying to protect you. That's my job. I will literally risk my life. If we're walking down the street and a guy tries to grab your ass, it's on. I have to risk my life against Mike Tyson, whoever he may be, he might be strapped, he might have anything. I have to risk my life to protect you. That's my job as a man. And you have a problem making a coffee?
Does it matter if I drink it? Does it really matter? I like knowing that you do your job, if I need coffee you're gonna do it, and you get to know that if it ever goes off, I will do my job. As a man. And from you, all I ask for is two cups of coffee. It doesn't matter if I drink them.
This is not a guy to be taking dating tips from unless you want to end up with a pot of hot coffee poured directly on your lap. Which is what we can assume happened, given that this loser is talking about this whole scenario in the past tense. Like most women, she probably had more need for someone who wasn't a Keurig-cup-wasting asshole than for someone to "risk his life" to protect her in the unlikely event that she had her house broken into or Mike Tyson grabbed her ass.
If her job is to make coffee, she's not a girlfriend, she is a barista. If your job is to "risk your life" to save her, you are not a boyfriend, you are a bodyguard. And even if there is a very romantic movie called The Bodyguard, it seems highly unlikely that Kevin Costner would have forced Whitney Houston to make him two cups of coffee, one of which he doesn't drink, every day. Or that Whitney would not have thrown the coffee pot at his head were he to try.
Now, to be fair, if the only reason this "chick" was hanging around with Andrew Tate was because she was being constantly followed around by an ass-grabbing Mike Tyson or having her house broken into, then two coffees, one of which he doesn't drink, would be a reasonable trade for all that life-risking he was doing, day in and day out. But that's not a relationship. That is simply a weird bartering arrangement with a bodyguard.
[H/T YSF on Twitter]
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse