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The journalistic newspapers have found a new business model! It involves begging the President to either:


  • A. criminalize the Internet, or
  • B. monetarily reward the newspapers, with American currency, for their Stockholm syndrome in broadsheet prisons of their own creation.

Every few months Robert Gibbs bothers to respond by asking them why they think anyone on Earth, much less the President, would give them money. WELL: today the newspapermen received a thrilling categorical "dunno, give it a shot?"

Hear ye, hear ye, read all about it:

"The president said he is 'happy to look at' bills before Congress that would give struggling news organizations tax breaks if they were to restructure as nonprofit businesses.

'I haven't seen detailed proposals yet, but I'll be happy to look at them.'"

The "Newspaper Revitalization Act" would give money to newspapers who restructure as non-profits. It has like two supporters in the Senate, but the sky is the limit after they write the inevitable Huffington Post blog post arguing for the necessity of the newspaper bailout.

[The Hill]

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Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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