Chelsea Clinton Barred From Campaigning At Bombing Range
The young lass who just a few short years ago wowed the world by dodging sniper fire in Bosnia will not be able to deliver a repeat performance dodging bombs in Puerto Rico because people in the Navy are mean.
For those of you who were alive way back in the late 1990s, you will recall that Vieques is a little spot in Puerto Rico the military used to bomb the shit out of, for practice, and people protested it occasionally until a bomb killed a security guard and they shut the whole thing down.
Chelsea wanted to campaign there in order to show how much her mother cares about bombs and bombing, but some Navy spokeswoman said people aren't allowed to campaign on federal property. So Chelsea retired to Pedro's Cabana, a beachfront bar, and will be "getting bombed" on mojitos instead, the end.