Dick Cheney's trip to Baghdad has been chock full of all the laughs and hijinks we've come to expect from that jolly old character and his neocolonial pet project. After the jump, join us in some entertaining tidbits of Cheneyania to sprinkle into your sparkling happy hour conversation tonight.

* Later in the day, as reporters filed into an embassy conference room for another photo of Cheney they overheard him tell his staff "then we kick the press out."

* Pool report: "Around 5:20 p.m. (local) there was a distant explosion that rattled windows at the building where the VP and the press corps are working today. Seasoned Baghdad hands, security contractors, troops and diplomats, said this happens regularly and didn't seem especially alarmed, though the press corps was hustled two floors down to a basement 'attack shelter.' The blast sounded like a mortar rocket."

* We're not sure yet if we're allowed to mention that he's at the damn embassy. Or that he was there. No clue where he is now, this self-enforced media blackout is pretty good!

* The AP's Tom Raum will be shot later this week:

QUESTION: Mr. Vice President, did you hear anything today that makes you believe that the benchmarks that have been set up are getting met any quicker than earlier? And if so, is there any possible (inaudible) tie the performance at meeting these benchmarks to getting funds from Congress, as some Democrats have suggested?

And General Petraeus, you said a few weeks ago in Washington that regardless of how things went, it would take an enormous commitment of time and effort on the part of the United States before things are stabilized. Do you still believe that?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I'm not sure that was consistent with the rules, Tom, but what the heck. You got the first one, so we'll go with it.

Keep refreshing Wonkette for more breathless coverage of everything Cheney does and says!!!

Cheney caught saying 'kick the press out' at Iraq briefing [Raw Story]