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Child With Slightly Painted Foot Infuriates Conservatives

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"A J.Crew ad that shows a top designer painting her young son’s toenails neon pink has some parents and doctors seeing red,"reports Fox News. Why are America's physicians and people who have no role in the life of the child in question suddenly concerned with a photograph on a clothing website of a small, smiling human with some paint on his foot? Well, they're not. The "doctors" are Fox News columnist "psychiatrist Dr." Keith Ablow and the "parents" are people on Fox Nation who don't know how to spell. You know, a national controversy! Will this child suddenly think he has a vagina because his mom painted part of his foot this one time? Probably, this expert "doctors" says. And people who don't have vaginas should not think they have vaginas.


(Because they might sit down on the toilet? We're not sure what the problem is here.)

The image appeared in a feature called "Saturday With Jenna," which was emailed to customers last week and highlights a few of J.Crew president and creative director Jenna Lyons’ favorite products -- including the hot pink Essie nail polish seen on her son, Beckett. [...]

“This is a dramatic example of the way that our culture is being encouraged to abandon all trappings of gender identity,” psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow wrote in a FoxNews.com Health column about the ad.

Media Research Center’s Erin Brown agreed, calling the ad “blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children.”

Yes, you read that right: This woman just told this Beckett kid he's transgendered. Who needs playground bullies when you have the Media Research Center to taunt children it doesn't like?

“Not only is Beckett likely to change his favorite color as early as tomorrow, Jenna's indulgence (or encouragement) could make life hard for the boy in the future,” Brown wrote in an opinion piece Friday. "J.CREW, known for its tasteful and modest clothing, apparently does not mind exploiting Beckett behind the facade of liberal, transgendered identity politics.”

Oh, is that who's exploiting him here? It's not the adults who are using his appreciation for one part of the visible spectrum over others and occasional paint on his foot to call him names and blame him for the destruction of human civilization? Right, it's probably the clothing company, which only exists to promote an agenda that has never been attributed to them previously in their decades in business.

“Why would I want my son to paint his toenails pink?” ohthatmomma wrote. “Why woukd [sic] I want my son to paint his toenails at all?”

Nobody's telling you to do or think that?

This marks the first and last time a Fox News website commenter went to J. Crew's website. [Fox News]

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

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