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China Surpasses United States In Most Important Indicator of Power

News

This morning you took a gasoline shower, ate a coal donut, and went off to work in your Hummer thinking your country was safely ranked #1 in the world. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. It turns outChina is now tops when it comes to consuming the world's energy, which is our most important job as Americans. How will we tell our children that the United States now burns less energy than Red China?


The figures reflect, in part, how the global recession hit the U.S. more severely than China and hurt American industrial activity and energy use. Still, China's total energy consumption has clocked annual double-digit growth rates for many years, driven by the country's big industrial base. Highlighting how quickly its energy demand has increased, China's total energy consumption was just half the size of the U.S. 10 years ago.

Shut up! We are just fine. Obama is destroying our economy, but our economy is a patriot and is stronger than him. We can still burn fossil fuels with the best of 'em! LOOK, JUST LIT THIS LAPTOP ON FIRE WITH SOME LIGHTER FLUID! SEE? THAT WAS QUICK! QUICKER THAN CHINA! USA! USA! USA!

"The fact that China overtook the U.S. as the world's largest energy consumer symbolizes the start of a new age in the history of energy," IEA chief economist Fatih Birol said in an interview.

NO IT DOESN'T. IT SYMBOLIZES NOTHING. WE ARE STILL RELEASING MORE CARBON DIOXIDE TO DESTROY THE ATMOSPHERE THAN CHINA, PROBABLY. WE ARE STILL NUMBER ONE. WE HAVE COWS THAT POOP AND ALSO CHINA PROBABLY FUDGED THEIR COMMIE NUMBERS.

China's voracious energy demand helps explain why the country—which gets most of its electricity from coal, the dirtiest of fossil-fuel resources—passed the U.S. in 2007 as the world's largest emitter of carbon dioxide emissions and other greenhouse gases.

AHHHHHHHHHHH! Shut up, liberal world media! Not true! Not true!

The U.S. is still by far the bigger energy consumer per capita, with the average American burning five times as much energy annually as the average Chinese citizen

See! We have much more productivity than those lazy Chinese! We can do this! JUST UP YOUR BURNING OF ENERGY TO SIX TIMES THE AVERAGE CHINAMAN, YOU GUYS.

WE CAN DO THIS! WE CAN DO THIS! USA! MEL GIBSON! USA! [WSJ]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

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Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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