The Internet

Trump Banning TikTok, Surely Not Because The TikTok Teens Ruined His Tulsa Rally

Supposedly it is because he thinks the Chinese would use it to spy on us.

Trump announced on Friday night that he would be banning the wildly popular social media app TikTok, most likely today, on the grounds that his administration suspects the Chinese government could use it to spy on us and copy all of our most precious dance moves.

Back in June, hundreds of thousands of TikTok users registered to attend Trump's rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, with no intention of showing up. This caused the administration to expect a far higher turnout than the 6,200 people who actually showed up, which ended up being very hilarious for everyone watching at home, given how much they had bragged about how many people had signed up. Not only did they have to cancel their overflow satellite rally, but the stadium was very sparsely filled.

Surely, this has absolutely nothing to do with the decision to ban the app.

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2020 presidential election

Economic Recovery? Joe Biden Has A Plan For That

I see what we did there.

Joe Biden gave a speech at a metal-working plant in Dunmore, Pennsylvania, near his hometown of Scranton — did you know? Joe Biden is from Scranton! He slammed Donald Trump as being out of touch with working Americans and called for using the power of the American government to help build a post-coronavirus economy that's fairer for workers, with good, clean-energy, union jobs. Biden's testing out a new slogan, "Build back better," to push his economic recovery program, which has some very noticeable DNA from earlier proposals rolled out by Jay Inslee and Elizabeth Warren during the primaries. As Biden's campaign site puts it,

[This] is no time to just build back to the way things were before, with the old economy's structural weaknesses and inequalities still in place. This is the moment to imagine and build a new American economy for our families and the next generation.

It was a very good speech, if you have a half hour to spare; Biden had to compete with a bunch of chirping birds in the venue, which frankly was kind of charming. Let's watch!

Joe Biden Delivers Remarks on His Economic Recovery Plan to help America Build Back Better

Biden's plan borrows a key element from Inslee and Warren's green manufacturing plans: The federal government buys a lot of stuff. So let's make sure that the money spent on procurement reinforces worthwhile economic goals, by requiring that government contracts go to companies that are based in America, that use green manufacturing methods, and that pay their workers a living wage and encourage unions. Wherever possible, also make sure the stuff the government procures is energy-efficient, ideally non-polluting altogether. And maybe fewer contracts to companies that just incorporated four days before and are run by convicted frauders? Well, let's not get crazy.

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13 Tons Of (Alleged) Concentration Camp Prisoner Hair From China Seized At Border

The hair was reportedly made both from and by Uyghur women in detention camps.

On Wednesday, a shipment of 13 tons of human hair, worth approximately $800,000, was seized by US Customs and Border Protection, as it was suspected to have been both harvested from and made by Uyghurs in a Chinese labor camp.

Since 2017, as part of China's "war on terror," over a million Uyghurs and other ethnic Turkic minorities have been held in the horrific re-education camps in the Xinjiang autonomous region, where they are often sterilized, forced to do hard labor, otherwise tortured, raped, and starved until they sing songs praising Chinese leader Xi Jinping (whose policies are keeping them in these camps) and not let out until those running the camps feel that they have been sufficiently cleansed of their own culture and religion (the Uyghurs are mostly Muslim) and accepted the ways of the Han Chinese.

Apparently, this "re-education" now also means cutting their hair off and forcing them to make it into weaves for American consumers. It sounds like something out of a horror movie, but it is a thing that happens in real life.

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Now That's What We Call A Purge

Say goodnight, Voice of America and Radio Free Europe.

Just shy of three weeks ago, Senate Republicans confirmed Trump loyalist Michael Pack to head up the Agency for Global Media — the outfit that runs US government broadcasting outfits like Voice of America, Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty, Radio Free Asia, and other networks that operate all over the globe.

Last week, Pack fired the heads of all the networks run by the agency, as well as many of the networks' top staff, in an unprecedented purge that appears aimed at getting rid of all that silly "professionalism" and "nonpartisan" coverage that had made the networks famous, and more trusted than the official media of many of the countries where VOA and other services were broadcast.

But that's fine, because now there's every indication that the agency will become the propaganda arm of the administration, without any of those troublesome moments like when Fox News publishes clearly fake poll results showing Trump behind Joe Biden.

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