Chris Christie Promises He Will Never Stop Being A Dick

Lovable cuddly soft-spoken goofball Gov. Chris Christie (R-Joisey) appeared on the "Today Show" to vow that he will never give up, never surrender, when it comes to being a raging screamaholic jerk-faced jerk.

Matt Lauer reminded Christie of that little incident a couple weeks ago -- no, not that one where he wanted to yell at the nurse just because she thinks she's some kind of Centers for Disease Control expert on Ebola; the other one, at an event marking the second anniversary of Hurricane Sandy, when Christie, in his usual calm and composed manner, politely yelled at a "heckler" to "sit down and shut up." While the casual observer might conclude that Christie has some anger management issues, Christie wants you to know it's not a bug, it's a feature.

LAUER: That kind of response is something your staunch supporters love. It makes other people queasy. Are you going to have to control that side of your personality to be seen as presidential outside the rough-and-tumble world of New Jersey politics?

CHRISTIE: First of all, you’re assuming I wasn’t controlled. And you know, I sat and took it for a while. And then other people, the hundreds of people that were there, deserved to hear what we had to say that day. That person had their say. I’d sat and listened to it. It was time for them to sit down. And I’m not going to change, Matt. This is who I am.

LAUER: Maybe I should say instead of controlling that side, do you have to hide that side of your personality outside of New Jersey?

CHRISTIE: There’s no hope of that.

Do you promise, governor? We sure hope so. We are so looking forward to seeing you on stage with your fellow Republican presidential hopefuls, screaming "Sit down and shut up!" at them. And the moderators. And the audience. And all those people you think will vote for you and your "it's time to start offending people" platform. Best of luck with that.

[Crooks and Liars]


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