Christie Says Snooki 'Not A Jersey Girl,' Emergency Conference Call To Springsteen, Kevin Smith Imminent
Is "Snooki" still even a thing? We guess maybe Snooki is still a thing. We mean, sure, she's got a pulse and all, which is good for her, don't get us wrong. But even as a punchline, isn't she well past her sell-by date? Even forPolitical Savant Jay Leno? But apparently she is still enough of a thing that when New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie briefly met her last week during his Barrackapalooza tour -- you know, all about the state's recovery from a devastating hurricane -- the sideshow was news somehow, at least in some hellish alternate universe that we do not ever want to live in, even if Barry has a cool goatee there.
Was there drama? It is possible that there was drama. There was also butthurt! There was even an aftermath, in which Christie suggested that Snooki was not actually a "Jersey Girl," because she grew up in New York. Oh, the humanity!
Quick summary, because this whole story makes us feel dumber by the second:
Friday: Governor and Punchline briefly meet off-set while they are filming separate segments of NBC's Today Show. In a short video that we will link to but not embed (because dear christ what do you people take us for?) there is the following exchange, mercifully transcribed so we did not have to listen to it more than once:
Snooki first asks Christie, “Why are you standing so close to me?” The governor responds by leaning in playfully.
Then they shake hands and Snooki says, “We just wanted to meet you and just hope you start to like us.”
He responded, “Well, we’ll do our best.”
When he leaves, Snooki tells the camera, “He just doesn’t like us, that’s it.”
Sadface. Punchline later tweeted "Getting told why we are bad for jersey. Amazing" with the photo at the top of this post. You may note that the alleged dialogue does not appear in the video. Punchline is expected to join the cast of Fox & Friends any day now.
Saturday: Chris Christie appears on an "Ask the Governor" program and dismisses an emailed suggestion that he and Punchline should work together to promote the state, saying “Jenny, Listen. Snooki and I are not a couple and never will be one.” But of course, there had to be more:
The governor then affirmed that they met, saying “She (Snooki) asked why I don’t like them. And I said, ‘It’s not that I don’t like you, I just don’t like your show and the way it depicts New Jersey’ and you know, she’s not happy with me.”
Christie then explains, “When you parachute these people in from New York state in to New Jersey and try to make them seem like they’re New Jerseyans, and the way they conducted themselves, if you’re governor of New Jersey and you like that (show) then you’re soft in the head.”
...Show host Eric Scott then said, “That’s not a Jersey girl. The hardest thing to tell people outside of the state – that’s not a Jersey girl.”
Christie promptly agreed, saying, “Absolutely not a Jersey girl.”
Today: Tensions along the New York/New Jersey border (they are definitely contiguous -- we checked) are said to be rising, with both states exchanging salvos of "You talkin' to ME?" and spontaneous displays of abdominal muscles and repeated vigorous extensions of central manual digits. Shelters along the eastern seaboard are quickly filling as the region awaits a potentially disastrous peacekeeping effort by Donald Trump.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.