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Christopher Hitchens Baffled By Post Office

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Life in DC was exciting for about two and a half seconds when Brad Pitt visited in order to make out with Nancy Pelosi in her private chambers. Oh and then Richard Gere popped by also, which nobody cared about so much. Has Richard Gere been in a movie where he shows his admirable lack of vanity by starting out all gross and warty and gradually aging into a beautiful young specimen of flesh? Nope. Anyway, in lieu of Pitt sightings we bring you word of such handsome hunks as Trent Lott, Jonathan Martin, Patrick Leahy, and Christopher Hitchens.


When you go to your local Harris Teeter do *you* see somebody who looks vaguely familiar, and there you are racking your brains wondering if you should say hello or not, and then you remember you saw them on "Hardball" talking about agricultural subsidies? Send us word of these life-changing events! Write to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line "Wonk'd."

  • Saw Trent Lott at Good Stuff Eatery around 12:45 today. He was dressed like a tourist and very confused about how the line worked. He cut a bunch of people then couldn't decide what he wanted so he got back out of line, ran upstairs to get a seat, and then ran back downstairs all flustered, probably because the coloreds gave him lip when he told them to move.
  • I got in the checkout line behind Jonathan Martin today at Harris Teeter. He was sporting some major bedhead and carboloading for some hardcore blogging with a box of Cheez-its, some yogurt granola bars, and a DiGiorno's "ULTIMATE PIZZA."
  • I'm not sure if this technically counts, since it occurred in his office building, but I was on the elevator and Patrick Leahy got on with a reporter. You will be pleased to hear that I resisted the urge to say "I loved you in Batman."

    Sen. Leahy asked me what floor I was going to, and I mumbled something about riding up to the 4th floor with him and then going back down, so he wouldn't be delayed. He said thanks and then went back to talking to the reporter.

    This occurred just after the Senate voted to block the amendment that would have taken away Congressmen's scrillz, so he was probably in a good mood.

  • Behind chris hitchens in line at post office at florida and 20th. He looks confused and disheveled but what did i expect?
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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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