Chuck Norris Boycott To Disrupt Global Markets
Because of c-list movie star and Internet urban legend Chuck Norris, Mike Huckabee won the Iowa Republican Caucus and still has some vague shot at becoming President of the United States of America. Since Chuck is Mike Huckabee's closest adviser, should we be surprised that a Chuck Norris boycott blog finally launched today? YES! Who cares if he makes Huckabee likable among 37-year-old hobos in Cedar Rapids that own a VHS copy of Sidekicks -- HE IS CHUCK NORRIS!
On top of all that, the boycott of Norris -- outlined in a sec -- is led by a former Fred Thompson spokesman, Darrel Ng. Say what you will about ole Dipshit McGoo, but having been his spokesman is a strangely legitimate background for someone who's starting a Chuck Norris boycott blog.
Ng feels so passionately about Norris because he endorsed Mike Huckabee, who doesn't believe in evolution and once half-supported a quarantine of gays.That's literally the whole story -- because Chuck endorsed Mike Huckabee, Ng has ordered a boycott of the following products that advertise during Walker, Texas Ranger repeats(!): Total Gym, KFC, Payless ShoeSource, Nutrisystem, Tylenol and Geico.
This is how the former Thompson spokesman is spending his time: telling people not to buy TYLENOL because they run commercials during reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger, which stars Chuck Norris, who likes Mike Huckabee, who doesn't believe in evolution and sucks at AIDS. Do any of you have a headache after that? Well don't go buying Tylenol, because Mike Huckabee doesn't believe pterodactyls ever existed.