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Classy Wrasslin' Two-Time-Loser Lady Linda McMahon Stiffs Staff, Invites It To Screw Itself

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Hmmm, it looks like your Wonkette didn't bother to write even the littlest thing about two-time-Senate-loser and Wrasslin' Lady Linda McMahon this time around, probably because we had used up all our folding-chair jokesthe first time around, and also probably because we didn't care. But in fact, it is AFTER her (second) loss that Linda McMahon has become interesting! And how has she done that? Well, once she'd blown $100 million of her own money on her two (losing) campaigns, it seems she didn't have enough left over to pay the uniformly low-income and African American folks who had been her (low-wage) fake-supporters, so they just waited and waited. But then they told the press "hey this rich lady isn't bothering to pay us!" So THEN they got checks with a condom in the envelope, so's they could fuck themselves! AND THEN THE CHECKS BOUNCED ANYWAY. Oh man.


NEW HAVEN, Conn. (WTNH) -- Two days after the election campaign workers came to News 8 claiming, they had not been paid by Linda McMahon's campaign. We spoke out on their behalf and one week after the election the campaign was writing checks. The only problem is that the checks bounced.

"We already paid the money to the people and we were just looking to get our percentage which we charge two percent," said Troy Stokes, M&M Check Cashing Co.

M&M Check Cashing on Howe Street had been cashing McMahon's checks all through the campaign, but all the checks dated November 8th have bounced.

"We're out right now, $1,600," Stokes said.

Did you catch that? All the folks who were doing the fake-supporter thing for McMahon's campaign were so poor they don't have bank accounts, and have to give two percent off the top to scammy check cashing places. HAHA, IDIOTS, SERVES YOU RIGHT or something, we guess.

Twaine Don Gomes was one of the people who first complained to News 8. He was handed a check, but he says, the campaign told him they were mad that he came to News 8, so he got a little something extra in his envelope.

"Basically he handed me a check with a condom in it, told me I was screwed," Gomes said. "That's the rudest gesture you can ever do to a person, it's like spitting in a person's face."

His check bounced as well.

Here's your kinder, gentler, more black-people-outreaching GOP, America. LOVE IT OR GET A FOLDING CHAIR TO THE FACE.

Happy Holidays.

[OnPolitix / SouthernBeale, via Wonket operative "Lisa Z"]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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