Clintons Plan Secret Sex Getaway To Bermuda

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President Hillary Clinton and her husband, President Bill Clinton, will be staying in the romantical island spot calledBermuda this weekend. You know who else is in Bermuda, right now, and forever? An unfortunate band of Uighurs, who will be conscripted into sexual slavery administering erotic pedicures to the Clintons. Pray for their souls. [Bermuda Sun]

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