CNBC Made A Pretty Good Ad For Elizabeth Warren, CLASS WAR
Photo by Dominic Gwinn

CNBC host Jim Cramer handed Elizabeth Warren a great talking point Tuesday, when he and some of the network's other talking heads fretted about what Warren would do to those poor, long-suffering megabanks. The big banks, Cramer said, are simply terrified of Warren, and golly, the rest of America should share their concerns, since don't most Americans empathize deeply with the Wall Street bankers who crashed the economy a decade ago? Remember, back when Cramer was insisting Bear Stearns was a great stock to buy, shortly before the bank collapsed? Jon Stewart had some fun with that, way back in the day!

Yes, our frame of reference for "Jim Cramer" will always be Jon Stewart. What, Cramer thinks we should call him "Jimmy the bar builder?" No, here's Jim "the sheep fucker" Cramer and his worries about what Warren will do to the banks, and America. Roll 212!

If only Jon Stewart could have been there!

Cramer wondered why Wells Fargo is still having trouble finding a CEO, and wondered whether the whole company is terrified Elizabeth Warren will be president. "Of course they are!" said one of his cohosts (CNBC says it's a "David Faber"), because that lady is terrifying! "If she becomes president, what do you think's gonna happen to the banks?"

That made Cramer sputter a bit before he allowed it would be a "sub-optimal situation," while we assume Faber considered pantomiming an index finger slicing across his neck.

Who knows, we might even have some kind of show trials for bankers, maybe: "There were these hearings, in the Thirties, where they brought rich people in front of Congress, just kind of trashed them." He then gulped and said something like, "effective" or maybe "ineffective," or just "feck it," but he was clearly worried about Warren's coming inquisition of the rich.

Cramer wants you to know, this Warren, she's scary: "When you get off the desk and you talk to executives, they're more fearful of her winning." the refrain from his executive times with executives is "She's gotta be stopped! She's gotta be stopped!" He nonetheless predicted that Warren would win Iowa, because she's a "very compelling figure on the stump," and if we were in the Warren campaign, we'd be worried that this loser picked our candidate. But then Faber kept piling on with more reasons to like Warren:

I hear it too, and it's another reason why companies are being implored to do things now. if you wanna get something done, [an] M & A [merger & acquisition], do it soon, because come early to mid-2020, if Elizabeth Warren is rolling along, everybody is going to be like, "That's it."

Well gosh, wouldn't THAT be sad? Wall Street oligarchs are worried a Warren presidency might mean they may not be able to roll around nekkid in other people's money, and that sure is something America needs to give some serious thought.

Elizabeth Warren doesn't seem terribly inclined to try to win over the highly important toadying-to-Wall-Street demographic:

Despite the potential usefulness of his comments, we'll assume Cramer isn't about to get a consulting gig with the Warren campaign.

[CNBC via Adam Best on Twitter]

Yr Wonkette is supported entirely by reader donations. Please help us keep the servers humming, the writers paid, and Dok plied with coffee and old Daily Show clips.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc