CNN, the once-influential news channel that for the past several years employed a mouth-breathing fool as its main daytime news reader, has finally fired this mouth-breathing fool. Was Rick Sanchez let go because he is aninsult to the intelligence of anyone smart enough to operate a teevee remote? No, he was fired for saying idiotic things on a satellite radio channel. The Jews won this round, Sanchez! Guess you'll have to go back to Cuba. Wait, what?

Sanchez was only known as "Rick's List" to sad people in rest homes forced to watch CNN two days a week (it's Fox News and History Channel the rest of the time). But inside his pea-sized brain, being a highly paid news reader on a major news channel five days a week was a form of racial insult, in that Jews (CNN) hate Latinos (dumb-looking white clods who claim to be "Cuban-American"). Also, lousy Jon Stewart thinks he's so smart, well he's just a Jew who is prejudiced (like all Jews) against Mexicans such as Rick's List, the end.

Who knew that inside the mashed-potato brains of Rick Sanchez there was all this simmering, misplaced racial fury? If we were forced to guess, we would've said the main thoughts inside Rick's brain were "time to poop!" and "don't need to poop yet." [Washington Post/New York Times]