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CNN Pretty Sure Bowe Bergdahl Is Just Like That Nice Terrorist Fellow From 'Homeland'

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Welcome to your new Wonkette, which is all Bergdahl, all the time. Mostly we've been busy mocking Republicans who suddenly are pretty solid on hating the troops, mere days after crying insincere troop-loving crocodile tears over the VA hospital scandal, but today we're going to take a break from that and hate on CNN instead, because good Christ CNN is stupid. Truly, this is lost Malaysian plane level of stupid. This is Don Lemon stupid. This...is CNN.

Yes, CNN did an entire segment today on how Bowe Bergdahl -- an actual factual person -- is just like Nicholas Brody in Homeland, a made up teevee show. To be fair, it isn't like CNN is likely all that clear on the difference.

People, this was no passing mention. This was AN ENTIRE SEGMENT. They went and interviewed the creator of Homeland, for fuck's sake, as if that was going to provide some actual insight, and then they tried really really hard to connect some dots.

“Their heads were both shaved so you immediately think, ‘Oh, OK, they must be the same person,’” CNN host Sally Kohn observed. “No, there’s interesting parallels, certainly. One, no doubt, is that the show Homeland originated in Israel, and Israel had real-life experience with these kinds of prisoner swaps.”

You know, actually, most people that are over the age of three probably did not confuse Bergdahl with Brody simply because they are both hairless. Also, too, we're not even sure what the fuck CNN is going on about with the Israel thing.

Also, too, if you've actually watched Homeland, a thing we do not necessarily presume the big brains at CNN did before airing this segment, you know that SPOILER ALERT Brody, though a complicated kinda dude, is also an actual bad terrorist double triple agent sort of guy who was turned by al Qaeda, which is kind of a fucked up comparison to make. Having walked right up to that insinuating line, CNN stomps right the fuck over it.

“And the other part of this is, you do wonder,” [Kohn] continued. “I think we want to responsibly withhold our judgement until we know all the facts, but it appears at this point that he wandered away, he was disillusioned with the war — that a lot of other soldiers and a lot of other Americans are disillusioned with as well — and what happened? What happened in that five years? Did he change his mind? What was he doing? We don’t know.”

We just don't know! But why not speculate that he became a terrorist, because that is totally the very definition of responsibly withholding judgment.

The real tragedy of this whole thing is that likely many people had to greenlight this idea for it to get on the air, which means that there are SO MANY sacks of stupid wandering the halls at CNN. Kill your television.

[Raw Story]

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What did we say this morning? Something about how "They want a war with Iran," and "Please do not listen to news reports about Trump telling his people to cool their jets with the Iran talk, because they want a war with Iran, and all they are looking for is their trigger"?

News came out early this morning that Iran shot down a US drone in the Strait of Hormuz, outside Iranian waters. Let's see what our president and his war-bonering GOP shitmouths in Congress have had to say about that:

Great. Just great. So what's happening now?

Awesome. Just splendid. Trump is having a cuddle party today with John Bolton (who's had a hard-on to bomb Iran since the Bush administration); Mike Pompeo (who's been making the rounds lying and saying Iran and al Qaeda are best friends, thus implying that it's very legal and very cool for Trump to strike Iran without congressional authorization, based on the Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) Congress voted for five days after 9/11); and Patrick Shanahan, the outgoing acting Defense secretary, who will make way for another acting Defense secretary, because who needs real Defense secretaries? (The new guy, Mark Esper, is part of the meeting too.) And as Senator Schatz points out above, Trump is emotionally unstable and doesn't know dick about foreign policy, so it's just great that he's having an emergency meeting with these unhinged hawks about this right now.

Tell us what this all means, unhinged hawk Lindsey Graham!

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