Coburn: 'Tubeboy Porked My Bill!'

He's got a series of tubes up his ass, it seems - WonketteWhile we've been implying, insinuating and plain old accusing -- and even encouraging readers to call their senators -- turns out the whole S. 2590 porky mystery was solved two weeks ago.

Tom Coburn, one of the few living "fiscal conservatives" and the guy who introduced the bill along with Dem glamour boy Barack Obama, just flat out told an audience back home in Oklahoma that pork-slobberin' Alaskan Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens had put the hold on the government-transparency bill.

Read Coburn's actual words, along with myriad other words, after the jump.

The Times-Record of Fort Smith, Arkansas (just across the state line) ran this story on August 18:

One of the senators most criticized for his personal projects, Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, has a hold of his own on Coburn's bill to make public the spending patterns of the government. Called the Federal Funding Accountability and Transparency Act, the legislation calls for the creation of a database open to the public where citizens can track government spending.

"He's the only senator blocking it," Coburn said of Stevens.

Coburn and Stevens sparred earlier this year when Coburn attempted to block the so-called "bridge to nowhere," a transportation project in Alaska to build a bridge that less then 60 people a day would use that would have received $223 million from the federal government.

Coburn said the purpose of the transparency act is to open up government so citizens can hold officials accountable.

"What we need is transparency and sunshine," Coburn said.

Case closed. You may now proceed with savagely harassing Stevens, spreading foul rumors about his disgusting sexual addictions (series of tubes, indeed!) and otherwise hounding him out of office.

Coburn Critical Of Colleagues [Times-Record]

Coburn: Stevens Blocked My Bill [TPM Muckraker]


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