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  • Wednesday, March 11: In honor of the upcoming National Cherry Blossom festival, Washington Life magazine is throwing the annual Pink Tie Cocktail Party, which means not only will you be emasculated for wearing a pink tie, you will feel personally humiliated at your own Poorness when you find out that the tickets are $150. But! There will be cherry-themed food and drinks from all your favorite local restaurants. [National Cherry Blossom Festival]

  • Thursday, March 12: It's the Washington Post's monthly happy hour event at the Rocket Bar in Chinatown, which means there's going to be free mini-burgers and pizza from Matchbox, $3 PBR and the chance to hook it up with some sexy WaPo reporters. [Washington Post]
  • Saturday, March 14: Rosa Mexicano is hosting a One Pot Meal Cooking demonstration with Chef James Muir. He'll be showing you how to cook a simple meal using only a humble Pot. Here's the best part of the deal: tickets are $35, but if you bring your own cooking pot, the tickets and ingredients are free. 10 AM. [Washington Post]
  • Tuesday, March 17: Party buses are totally douchey but you can make the exception for good ol' St. Paddy's Day. Boomerang Tours will chauffeur you to DC's most festive pubs and bars for a 5-hour bacchanalia extravaganza. In a party bus. Think long and hard about your dignity before making the $30 plunge. [Zerve]
  • Finally, the La Fromagerie cheese shop has opened up in Alexandria. The place features artisanal cheeses from the Mid-Atlantic region in addition to the fancy Euro stuff, and they've also got a great charcuterie selection made from local farmers. (Local farmers' stuff tastes better than out-of-town ones, according to Barack Obama's chef.) [La Fromagerie]
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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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