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  • Wednesday, March 11: In honor of the upcoming National Cherry Blossom festival, Washington Life magazine is throwing the annual Pink Tie Cocktail Party, which means not only will you be emasculated for wearing a pink tie, you will feel personally humiliated at your own Poorness when you find out that the tickets are $150. But! There will be cherry-themed food and drinks from all your favorite local restaurants. [National Cherry Blossom Festival]

  • Thursday, March 12: It's the Washington Post's monthly happy hour event at the Rocket Bar in Chinatown, which means there's going to be free mini-burgers and pizza from Matchbox, $3 PBR and the chance to hook it up with some sexy WaPo reporters. [Washington Post]
  • Saturday, March 14: Rosa Mexicano is hosting a One Pot Meal Cooking demonstration with Chef James Muir. He'll be showing you how to cook a simple meal using only a humble Pot. Here's the best part of the deal: tickets are $35, but if you bring your own cooking pot, the tickets and ingredients are free. 10 AM. [Washington Post]
  • Tuesday, March 17: Party buses are totally douchey but you can make the exception for good ol' St. Paddy's Day. Boomerang Tours will chauffeur you to DC's most festive pubs and bars for a 5-hour bacchanalia extravaganza. In a party bus. Think long and hard about your dignity before making the $30 plunge. [Zerve]
  • Finally, the La Fromagerie cheese shop has opened up in Alexandria. The place features artisanal cheeses from the Mid-Atlantic region in addition to the fancy Euro stuff, and they've also got a great charcuterie selection made from local farmers. (Local farmers' stuff tastes better than out-of-town ones, according to Barack Obama's chef.) [La Fromagerie]
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You know what? It has been a LONG week, and I think we all need and deserve something cheerful for our Saturday open thread! Right? Right.

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If you were to go by a chunk of chatter on Twitter regarding Disney's firing of director James Gunn from the Guardians of The Galaxy franchise over some bad tweets from 10 years ago, you might be inclined to believe that this was the result of the legendary "outrage machine" -- operated by "SJWs" in the name of "PC Culture."

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