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Colbert Super PAC: Mitt Romney Is a Serial Killer

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Stephen Colbert's super PAC released an attack ad in South Carolina this weekend that makes the brilliant connection between Romney's "corporations are people" comment and the number of jobs he killed while working at Bain Capital. Duh, that would make him A SERIAL KILLER by his own admission, if he ever admitted to anything. The ad (narrated by John Lithgow!) dubs Romney "Mitt the Ripper" and pleads with the people of South Carolina to vote "Not Mitt Romney" in Saturday's primary.


The super PAC also released a statement with the ad, including some more hits at the corporations = people thing (e.g., "Mitt Romney claims to be pro-corporations. But would you let him date your daughter's corporation?")

With the "Not Mitt Romney" thing, Colbert's PAC is basically saying that it's fine to vote for anyone else this weekend, because if you vote for anyone else, it will bring Romney's numbers down. But will that make any difference? And what if Rick Santorum becomes the Not-Mitt-Romney-in-Chief? WHAT THEN? The Definitely Not Coordinated With Stephen Colbert Super PAC seems confident that it can help make Mitt Romney the weakest Republican frontrunner in history. The narrative now appears to be shifting from oh godddddddddddd to hey, it might not be so bad to put a diabolical corporate executive with no people skills, no empathy, no soul, and lots of daddy issues up against a, you know, more experienced, if too mercurial, incumbent with tons of dollars in the bank. Colbert's camp, along with the entire Republican field, has essentially placed Romney at the edge of the gangplank for Obama to come along and flick off, and that's the most we can hope for at this boring old point, sorry. [The Digitel]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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