Colorado State Senator Delighted Aurora Shooter Had Access To 100 Bullets At Once
There's no dearth of terrible state legislators being terrible but we really have to hand it to one Mr. Senator Bernie Herpin (R-Awful) of Colorado, who decided to take the gut-wrenching tragedy of the Aurora, Colorado, theater shooting and use it to promote his gun-fondling agenda. Now, this is nothing new, but Herpin really took it up a notch by explaining how it was a super great and lucky thing that shooter James Holmes had a 100-round magazine.
"As it turns out, that was maybe a good thing that he had a 100-round magazine because it jammed," Herpin said Wednesday during a hearing on a bill that would repeal a state ban on high-capacity magazines that hold more than 15 rounds.
"If he had four, five, six 15-round magazines, there’s no telling how much damage he could have done until a good guy with a gun showed up," Herpin added.
Smart take! Very counterintuitive! Have you thought of pitching this to Slate, Bernie Herpin? Or maybe Thought Catalog? "12 Cool Ways To Kill A Fuckton of People With Just One Magazine." "8 Great Reasons To Date Dudes That Buy High-Capacity Magazines."
Also, are you contractually bound to say "good guy with a gun" whenever you talk about guns? We thought so!
You know, sometimes we slip up and say something extremely awful and stupid. It just slips out. But then you apologize your face off and basically try to cram those words right back down your mouth hole. You don't instead go on to try to explain the awful.
After testifying, Herpin said he was trying to illustrate that high-capacity magazines like the one Holmes allegedly used can be unreliable, and the fact that it jammed may have saved lives in the theater. "Certainly I don't condone what happened," Herpin added.
That's big of you, Bernie. We're glad that you're not going to send James Holmes a fruit basket for choosing a 100-round magazine, but maybe you could kick your sensitivity up a notch and be less blindingly dumb. We know you love guns more than anything else in this cold hard world, but there are other people who are into things like "living" and "not getting shot while seeing a fucking Batman movie."
Mercifully, the Colorado Legislature is apparently staffed by people slightly smarter than Bernie Herpin, and rejected his attempt to repeal the high-capacity magazine ban, so at least there's that. We suspect that it won't be long before Herpin turns up with a different bill that seeks to make sure that every child gets an AK-15 the same day they start kindergarten, or some other super smart thing. Can't wait.