Coming To Theaters, That Movie What Made Trump Sh*t His Underpants!
Last August, Donald Trump was whining about a thing (no way!), and it was a movie called The Hunt, which, according to what simpleton conservatives on the internet had heard, was a jolly goodtime comedy story about some rich liberals who decided to go hunting for Donald Trump's deplorables and murder them a whole bunch. In the view of the right-wing internet, the existence of this film, which they had not seen, was just more proof that Hollywood was out to get them and murder them and turn them all gay, probably, we don't know, but they are usually whining that Hollywood is turning them gay, we think.
Anyway, the movie's release date got canceled, ostensibly because there had just been a couple of very bad mass shootings in America, which was hard to swallow because when have there ever not just been a couple of very bad mass shootings in America? It might have also been canceled because Donald Trump was tweeting things like this:
Liberal Hollywood is Racist at the highest level, and with great Anger and Hate! They like to call themselves “Elit… https://t.co/BLZAStZXwA— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1565376255.0
Point is, a hullabaloo occurred, and everybody involved with the movie decided to pull it back in August.
We hadn't heard of the movie until Trump started tweeting about it and learned that Fox News was mainlining the manufactured controversy about the film like it was crushed up Viagra on Rush Limbaugh's asshole. "Huh, we might want to see that movie," we thought, because we actually read some of the articles about it that weren't just wingnut howler monkey screeching, and learned it was a bit more complex than they were describing. For one thing, as its creators and writers — the same writers as the "Watchmen" not-TV-it's-HBO show, which Rebecca says is "enthralling" and therefore she will definitely watch this movie — explained many times, it's intended as satirical comment on American society, not as a literal how-to guide for hunting Trump's deplorables. For another thing — well, we don't know "for another thing," because like everyone else, we haven't seen the damn thing!
All of this is to say that the movie is coming out after all, on March 13. Ahead of its new release date, the studio is marketing it with a poster that says, "The most talked about movie of the year is one that no one's actually seen."
Here, have a trailer:
Producer Jason Blum talked to The Hollywood Reporter about why it's coming out now and what really happened back then:
It's probably the most judged movie that's ever existed that everyone who judged it hadn't seen," says Blum, who was receiving threats. "We weren't going to win the conversation around that and so it was our decision, in holding hands with Universal, to take the movie off the schedule."
Screenwriter Damon Lindelof added that at the time, nobody who had actually seen the film was mentally connecting it with the mass shootings, and nobody even thought it was provocative in the way whiny-ass conservatives and whiny-ass presidents thought it was provocative, on account of how they had actually seen it and stuff.
"This is not a dangerous movie," Lindelof said. "This is not a provocative movie. This is not a divisive movie."
Here is how low-information moron wingnuts were describing the movie they had not seen, back when it was shelved:
"I don't know how else to describe it other than that it's just sick," John Brabender told ITK just hours before Universal announced it was squashing the film. "You can call it satirical," the Republican strategist said of the thriller, "but it sure does seem like it's Hollywood creating an entity or a pathway to show what they are calling deplorables … to literally track them down and to kill them — on so many fronts that's offensive."
Uh huh, a gateway drug to liberals doing the murdering to the conservatives, you betcha, OK.
Also Lou Dobbs said the film's premise was "a little too real," which, fun fact, is NOT the way anybody has ever described the color of the dead beaver what appears to live atop Lou Dobbs's head.
This started out as a blog post about the rescheduled release of The Hunt, but now it is about how Lou Dobbs's head looks like dead animals, the end.
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