Congress Rebuffs Clear Midterm Mandate To Give America More Four Loko, Not Less


The Food and Drug Administration is preparing to ban caffeinated alcohol drinks, Sen. Charles Schumer said Tuesday. In response, one leading manufacturer of these drinks announced that it will remove caffiene and other ingredients from its product.

Schumer may think he is safe with his new six-year term, but he is not. On November 2, this country sent a clear message: FIVE, SIX, OR MAYBE EVEN EIGHT LOKO, not zero. America will drag him out of that Capitol and dissolve him alive in a vat of bootlegged Four Loko.

Oh well, guess we will have to drown our sorrows that alcohol and caffeine will never mix with rum-and-Cokes or, say, vodka-Red Bulls. THERE IS AN AMENDMENT AGAINST THIS SORT OF GOVERNMENT ACTION, SCHUMER. [CNN]


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