Congress

WY Senator John Barrasso Vows To ... Impeach Biden We Guess? Sure, F*ck It, Why Not!

This sounds strangely familiar.

Mitch McConnell famously declared in 2010 that the "single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president." By “we," McConnell meant other terrible Republicans who campaigned on a “stop the Kenyan socialist" platform. They obviously didn't succeed: Obama was re-elected in 2012, but voters steadily rewarded Republicans for their obstruction. They regained the House in 2010, the Senate in 2014, and the presidency in 2016.

That's probably why Wyoming Senator John Barrasso echoed McConnell's cynical objective during an event hosted by the conservative Ripon Society. Barrasso is the Republican Senate conference chair, and until recently, before she spoke heresies about Donald Trump, Wyoming Rep. Liz Cheney was the House GOP conference chair. That's a lot of political power for a state with fewer residents than Portland, Oregon.

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2018 Congressional Elections

Rep. Paul Gosar Praises Hero Cops By Demanding FBI Turn Them Over To Deranged Mob

There's a thin blue line between crazy and stupid. But Gosar manages to be on both sides of it.

"Back the blue!" shout Republicans, warning darkly of "Marxist" Black Lives Matter protestors and Antifa supersoldiers coming to murder saintly white taxpayers in their beds now that Democrats have defunded the police. But that's only when those hero cops are shooting unarmed Black men. When it's law enforcement holding back a horde of crazed MAGA rioters shouting "Hang Mike Pence!" it's another matter entirely.

Which is why 21 House Republicans, a full 10 percent of their caucus, voted against a resolution awarding Congressional Gold Medals to the very officers who defended them during the January 6 Capitol Insurrection. And, yes, it's the same cast of memelords you think it is — the ones who spend all their time grandstanding and offering stunt legislation to own the libs.

There's Rep. Andrew Clyde, who called the rioters "tourists," despite footage of him screaming to bar the door. And Rep. Lauren Boebert, who loves her some good ol' rebels. Louie Gohmert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Gaetz showed their whole asses, because it was a day that ends in "Y." Kentucky's Thomas Massie worried that labeling the events as an "insurrection" was "partisan," because "I think if we call that an insurrection, it could have a bearing on their case that I don't think would be good."

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justice department

Trump DOJ Meatballs ... Actually Refused To Do Coups!

Minimal credit where it is due!

Oversight is back, baby! And as long as they control the House, Democrats are going to conduct it, with or without Republicans.

Toward that end, House Oversight Chair Carolyn Maloney sent Attorney General Merrick Garland a letter on May 21 demanding information about the Trump White House pressuring the Justice Department to interfere in the 2020 election. And lo! Instead of a big middle finger with a snarky letter saying everything that happens in the executive branch is privileged, they actually coughed it up! And while most of this stuff already appeared in prior news reporting, it's pretty shocking to see evidence in black and white of Trump trying to weaponize the DOJ to keep himself in office.

The president of the United States of America literally tried to get every vote from Michigan, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Arizona, and Nevada tossed out — about one in five votes cast nationwide. Not to put too fine a point on it, but that is some crazy banana republic shit! To their minimal credit, however, the vast majority of Trump's DOJ lawyers held the line and refused to play along. Good job, fellas!

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Legal

Louie Gohmert Sues Congress For Metal Detector Discrimination

Did he get the shot and now he can't get to work because all the keys are sticking to him?

"Oh, thank Crom!" said your Wonkette back in 2013 when Terry McAuliffe beat Virginia's Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli in that state's gubernatorial race after Cooch went to court to protect his sacred right to ban sodomy. "Now we won't ever have to think about that buttsex-obsessed weirdo again."

How innocent we were then!

Back in private practice, the Cooch got bored with B-holes and got really into immigrants. More specifically, how to whiten up God's own America by keeping 'em all out. And despite Mitch McConnell's repeated warnings that he couldn't get that dipshit confirmed, Donald Trump continued to stick him in to random jobs at the Department of Homeland Security. And even when a court said "Nope, that's illegal," Cooch just stuck around anyway.

But now he's finally out on his ass, and he's found someone even dumber to pal around with. But not in a gay butt way, of course! (He HATES that!) GOP Rep. Louie Gohmert, the dumbest man in Congress, has teamed up with Cuccinelli to file the platonic ideal of a ridiculous lawsuit.

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