North Carolina Election-Fraud F*ckery Goes To Eleven. Teen. Thousand Million

What we are saying is HOLY SHIT.

Details of "alleged" (sure) election fraud in the race for North Carolina's Ninth Congressional District keep piling up, putting in doubt whether the "winner" of the race, Republican Mark Harris, will ever take office. The state elections board refused to certify his "win" over Democrat Dan McCready (by just 905 votes) and has opened an investigation into "possible" (sure) election fraud. A contractor hired by Harris's campaign, Leslie McCrae Dowless, appears to have been running a brilliant scheme to nab absentee ballots from people all over Bladen and Robeson counties, then fake votes for Harris or just never turn in the ballots at all.

Harris "received" a ridiculous 61 percent of the absentee vote in the county, even though only 19 percent of mail-in ballots were requested by Republicans. Oh, yes, and huge numbers of requested mail-in ballots were never turned in. It remains to be seen who in Harris's campaign knew what was going on or whether anyone directed the absentee-ballot shenanigans. Let's dig in to all the latest in this fucktagon of fuckery!

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Class War

Lady Dems Demand Job Rights For Nation's Wisecracking Maids, Nannies, Butlers

She works hard for the money so you better treat her right!

As we look forward to the eventual end of the Bad Orange Times, Democrats keep rolling out ideas that should become part of the national agenda, at least once the Current Unpleasantness is flushed. Like for instance Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's proposal for a "Green New Deal" that would both tackle climate change and create hundreds of thousands of jobs, or any of the many bills by Kamala Harris.

Democratic Senator Kamala Harris and Rep. Pramila Jayapal have co-introduced another good idea, the National Domestic Workers Bill of Rights, which would extend legal protections and worker rights to the roughly two million people currently working as in-home health aides, cleaners, nannies, and so on. Yes, even the ones who don't have sitcoms based on their zany antics. It's not just a great deal for some of the lowest-paid workers in the country, it also provides a model for how work rights could be extended to a lot of people working in a variety of nontraditional labor markets.

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I Like Money. You Like Money Too? Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 5, 2018

Michael Flynn flips, Trump ruins Christmas, and North Carolina gets crazy. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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GOP's Spine Suddenly Not Bone-Sawed In Half Over Khashoggi Murder

This is weird!

The strangest goshdarned thing happened in the Senate today. Senators on both sides of the aisle have been pissed off that CIA Director Gina Haspel wasn't originally made available by the White House to brief them on the murder of bone-saw-murdered Washington Post journalist and legal US resident Jamal Khashoggi, at the almost certain orders of Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS). Secretary of State Mike Pompeo had testified to the Senate -- after we learned he traveled to Saudi Arabia just after the murder to help the Saudis cover it up. Defense Secretary James Mattis put his credibility in a lockbox for safekeeping and testified to the Senate. Both said we just can't be extra certain MBS ordered that particular bone-sawing. And of course none other than the president of the United States has said there are bad people on both sides of bone saws. (Or something like that.)

But weirdly, the senators just weren't satisfied. It was like they wanted to hear from the director of the CIA or something, the person who was most closely read in on the intel, who had traveled to Turkey to see and hear the evidence, who heads the agency that said pretty unequivocally that MBS was behind the murder.

Gina Haspel showed up at the Senate today. Behind closed doors, no bone saws allowed.

And Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Secret Santa) came out of the room with the most memorable quote of all:

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John Dingell Would Like To Make Just A Tiny Alteration, Hardly Anything To Speak Of Really


John Dingell, the nation's longest serving congressman (retired to spend more time watching football and Being Best at Twitter), has a couple idears about our nation's current hellscape:

"There is a solution, however, that could gain immediate popular support: Abolish the Senate. At a minimum, combine the two chambers into one, and the problem will be solved. It will take a national movement, starting at the grassroots level, and will require massive organizing, strategic voting, and strong leadership over the course of a generation. But it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? 'Abolish the Senate.' I'm having blue caps printed up with that slogan right now. They will be made in America."

You go read now.


Democrats' First House Bill To Make America A Democracy Again

Nancy Pelosi gonna stick em up Mitch McConnell's ass.

A big plus from throwing House Republicans out on their ears is that we don't have to worry as much about them trying to kill us. As recently as this summer, they were still planning another go at repealing the Affordable Care Act if they managed to unexpectedly survive midterms like the masked psychopath in a slasher movie. Now, after a bonafide blue wave, we not only can breathe easier, but our shiny new blue House might actually pass positive, non-citizen-murdering legislation.

Friday, Democratic leaders unveiled a sweeping political overhaul bill. It's been in the works for month, as part of the "For the People" campaign platform. People like to argue that Democrats have no message other than "Donald Trump sucks," but there was always something on their Web site. Once and future Speaker Nancy Pelosi has designated the bill "H.R. 1." Other bills might receive a House vote before H.R. 1 but it's still technically the "first one," sort of like Star Wars: The Phantom Menace but not garbage.

Pelosi and John Sarbanes, the plan's principal author, detailed specifics of the bill in a Washington Post op-ed titled "The Democratic majority's first order of business: Restore democracy." That's usually just political hyperbole but these days, it's a pretty sober assessment of the situation on the ground.

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Seth Moulton Gonna Need Little Lady Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez To Stop Being SO DANG SEXIST

Primary him. Please.

Centrist bro Democratic Rep. Seth Moulton is in a MOOD, you guys. And we get it, honestly. Everybody made fun of him and all his white guy friends in the House beating their chests against the she-demon Pelosi, and then his constituents yelled at him because apparently actually they like (???) Nancy Pelosi and want her to be speaker of the House and they don't just listen to whatever Fox News and GOP attack ads say about her, like Moulton does. And then his tiny coalition of anti-Pelosi wunderkinds fell apart and everybody pointed and laughed.

He hasn't had a good few weeks. And everybody is saying he totally deserves to be primaried in 2020, for the crime of sucking a lot.

And then? AND THEN. And then new whippersnapper liberal lady girl person human socialist did we say whippersnapper already Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said a very mean thing in a very mean tweet:

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Hey, Is This Obstruction Of Justice? How About THIS? And THESE? And That ...

Oy vey.

LOVE THE SMELL OF OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE IN THE MORNING! President Fuckbonkers passed a therapeutic Executive Time scream tweeting abuse at Michael Cohen and praising Roger Stone for refusing to testify to the grand jury. How long before he starts straight up tweeting out pardons?

Speaking of "guts," did Trump just shit his pants in fear? Did someone finally tell him that, once he leaves office, he can be prosecuted for all the obstruction of justice, witness tampering, and perjury he committed as president? Because that Tweet right there would be prime facie witness tampering. As in, that is a crime ON ITS FACE.

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James Comey Has A Hot Date To Get Slimed By House GOP

Some people pay extra for that.

Before American voters kick them all the way to the curb, House GOP dipshits are taking one final shot at James Comey. Sentient persons will remember the former FBI Director torpedoing Hillary Clinton's campaign by shouting "BUT HER EMAILS" for the entirety of October of 2016. But the House Mensa Caucus knows that was all a part of his dastardly plan to hurt Donald Trump, because the FBI was totes #InTheTank for Hillary.

If you think about it for a while ... you'll go insane. But that won't stop House Judiciary Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Even Your Kid Hates You) from subpoenaing Comey to testify this week. Republicans want one last shot at smearing shit on him before handing the gavel back to Democrats in January. Carpe diem!

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Don't Cry For Him Argentina. Wonkagenda For Mon., Dec. 3, 2018

Really, he's always like this.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Mark Harris's 'Victory' In NC's 9th Too Shady *For North Carolina Republicans*

Jesus Christ, what's going on in North Carolina?

There's some underhanded shadiness going on in North Carolina. There's always some underhanded shadiness going on in North Carolina. Remember when Democrat Roy Cooper defeated anti-gay hatemonger and bathroom busybody Pat McCrory, and the GOP-controlled state legislature cooked up some bills to ensure Cooper had the same executive powers as the local dogcatcher? Well, it wouldn't be an election season without more shenanigans from the state.

Republican Mark Harris narrowly beat Democrat Dan McCready in North Carolina's 9th Congressional District. FiveThirtyEight's election forecast rated the race as a tossup. This was despite a partisan lean of almost 14 points in favor of Republicans. Unfortunately for Harris, the North Carolina State Board of Elections and Ethics Enforcement hasn't certified his 905-vote "victory" over McCready and have no immediate plans to do so, either. The hold-up is related to a mounting evidence of fraud.

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It's Not A $50M Bribe To Putin ... It's A GIFT!

So many pieces just clicked into place.

Holy Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, Batman! Are these people out of their goddamn minds?

YES. THE ANSWER IS YES. Take it away, Buzzfeed.

President Donald Trump's company planned to give a $50 million penthouse at Trump Tower Moscow to Russian President Vladimir Putin as the company negotiated the luxury real estate development during the 2016 campaign, according to four people, one of them the originator of the plan.

Two US law enforcement officials told BuzzFeed News that Michael Cohen, Trump's personal lawyer at the time, discussed the idea with a representative of Dmitry Peskov, Putin's press secretary.

So, Michael Cohen offered a $50 million gift to the guy Christopher Steele said was running the pro-Trump Kremlin operation? AYFKMRN?

Steele Dossier

Not to blow your mind with a lot of technical legal argot, but that's what people in the business might call a GIANTASS BRIBE. And offering it on what was undoubtedly a recorded phone line gave the Kremlin potentially explosive kompromat on the future Idiot President.


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'Individual 1.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 30, 2018

Mueller's is eyeballing the entire Trump family. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Strap in, here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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New York Times JUST CAN'T STOP Sh*tting On Nancy Pelosi!

You're right, NYT, she's no Paul Ryan!

The House Democratic Caucus voted Wednesday to nominate Nancy Pelosi for a second tour of duty as speaker. This was perhaps the most foregone of foregone conclusions. Pelosi's opponents in the House still think they can block her on the floor but they're morons. I'm not the next speaker so I said that less diplomatically than Pelosi would, but that's the sentiment clearly expressed in a comment longtime Pelosi foe Kathleen Rice actually went around repeating.

RICE: Nancy Pelosi said it herself: Power is not given to you. You have to take it. And that's what this effort is all about.

Basically, Pelosi told Rice that she's a fool if she thinks that some ragamuffin Democrats are going to bully her into stepping down and giving them a clear, unobstructed path to power. If they want her gavel, then make their move. Otherwise they can get lost.

Note how Pelosi is such a political Svengali she has Rice quoting her cold diss like it's some ancient Chinese secret: "Like Confucius says, I'm a big moron with a big stupid head."

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Hard Rain's Gonna Fall. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 29, 2018

Robert Mueller's hunting rat fuckers, Republicans run from the Saudis, and Julian Assange lost his cat. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Post-Racial America

US Senate: Is Making 'Moral Poison' Dude A Federal Judge A Bridge Too Farr?

Tim Scott and Lisa Murkowski: You really want your names linked to this guy? Or that pun?

The US Senate voted this afternoon to advance the nomination of Thomas Farr to be a federal judge for the Eastern District in North Carolina, even though Farr has a sterling record of suppressing African-American votes. And in a completely unsurprising bit of trivia, that judicial district is home to some of the state's highest concentrations of black voters. What a coincidence!

The good news is that with Democrats unified in opposition to Farr and Jeff Flake pledging not to vote for any judicial nominees unless the Mueller investigation is protected from the whims of the "president," Democrats only needed just one Republican to break ranks and stop the guy.

The bad news is that Democrats had to find one Republican willing to break ranks, in a party that insists keeping black people from voting is good.

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