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Conservatives React To Jeb Bush With Usual Thoughtfulness And Rage-Induced Aneurysms

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Gary Legum

December 16, 2014 04:42 PM

Jeb Bush’s <a href="http://wonkette.com/569384/jeb-bush-may-bless-us-with-presidential-run" target="_blank">announcement</a> this morning that he is exploring maybe thinking about the possibility of considering a run for the presidency has set off an awesome fit of rage and whining among the true conservatives of the right, and it is hilarious. Hanukkah doesn’t even start for a few more hours, and already we have received the greatest gift.&#13;<hr/>The wingnuts are mad as hell because they have had enough of Republicans nominating moderate squishes like Mitt Romney and John “Bomb Everything!” McCain, and they’re not going to take it anymore. First out of the gate was blubbering sphincter Rush Limbaugh, <a href="http://mediamatters.org/video/2014/12/16/limbaugh-imagines-conspiracy-theory-behind-jeb/201896" target="_blank">spinning a dark conspiracy theory</a> that the Republican Establishment is making Jeb a sacrificial lamb simply to keep a true conservative Tea Partier from snagging the nomination.&#13;<blockquote>They're going to pull out all the stops to make sure that a Tea Party-type conservative doesn't get the nomination. And if that means -- somebody like Jeb -- it could be a sacrificial run just to make sure that a conservative doesn't get the nomination in 2016. There's a whole bunch of stuff under the surface here that's percolating and effervescing. And it's all about us being the number one enemy of these people.</blockquote> “Percolating and effervescing.” Someone must have gotten some Word of the Day toilet paper for his last birthday.&#13;Then there are the conservatives who took to Twitter to express their consternation. Like chipmunk-cheeked Breitbart reporter Matt Boyle, who lent some of his analysis.&#13;<a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17681856/origin.jpg"><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MTg1Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNzIyNjYyNH0.5xR57L6frUeNPLa0BzDmPYThAPBtBhXBTRLc5rbZVlg/img.jpg?width=980" id="0bb3d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a2a691ba7045d2a124b04b9bbc6cb770" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /></a>We disagree. We think if voting for Jeb Bush is the only thing that can keep Hillary Clinton from imposing Communism on America, conservatives will grit their teeth and turn out. But we’ll be happy to be proven wrong.&#13;Conservative novelist Brad Thor is also upset.&#13;<a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17681857/origin.jpg"><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MTg1Ny9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMDIzMzQ1NX0.-9M7foV5HvAG2L66ROV47jIjEUnWRWIlDtZMl1iUB9E/img.jpg?width=980" id="a7d4f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c499f5a642a094d30938035979414fdb" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /></a> <a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17681858/origin.jpg"><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MTg1OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NDQwMDAzMH0.VTrT_796eCNYEca3kc-P4__F62CiJ78LnfjdEC7SL5s/img.jpg?width=980" id="f87a9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0cbd696f9767cd83d93a6976f6ca0538" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /></a> <a href="http://www.splcenter.org/blog/2010/03/10/robert-stacy-mccain-and-the-washington-times/" target="_blank">Interracial marriage squish</a> Robert Stacy McCain? Very upset.&#13;<a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17681859/origin.jpg"><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MTg1OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MjgzODUxM30.KjXGYYl5ggoPbj0TQCE7m15sjjXteSbzzq_9iSSXgsg/img.jpg?width=980" id="fdb39" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="34e4506543620f3a8a8b5fb2e0c003dd" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /></a> Actual puddle of beaver vomit Michelle Malkin has a very simple message.&#13;<a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17681860/origin.jpg"><img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MTg2MC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjU2MjM1MH0.tDa1v7fEtfSFNU9OygAaZ_7nGSrol8GWZp1B2Jch0oY/img.jpg?width=980" id="cd35b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="61d4f85256e845fa39e6b07d695b9051" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" /></a> And everyone is all over the <a href="https://twitter.com/search?f=realtime&amp;q=%23BetterThanJeb&amp;src=tyah" target="_blank">#BetterThanJeb</a> hashtag on Twitter, which we recommend checking out, for hilarity.&#13;Reports that conservatives will dig up the corpse of Barry Goldwater and run him around the 2016 convention, Weekend at Bernie's style, could not be confirmed.&#13;Get pumped for 2016, everyone.&#13;[<a href="http://mediamatters.org/video/2014/12/16/limbaugh-imagines-conspiracy-theory-behind-jeb/201896" target="_blank">Media Matters</a>]

Gary Legum

Conservatives React To Jeb Bush With Usual Thoughtfulness And Rage-Induced Aneurysms

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