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White Nonsense

Laura Ingraham: Dems So Happy White Supremacist Wants To Kill Us All Because ... Jussie Smollett

Ingraham's humanity is also a hoax.

Presumably soon-to-be-ex Coast Guard officer Christopher Paul Hasson, a self-identified white supremacist, was arrested recently for allegedly planning a domestic terror attack targeting top Democrats and TV journalists, as well as as many of the nonwhite residents of the US he could find. Federal agents found 15 guns and 1,000 rounds of ammunition in his basement apartment. However, Hasson's attorney argues that the number of firearms is "modest, at best" for gun collectors in our crazy country. This is both true and terrifying.

It's also part of a clear pattern of threats against Democrats, liberals, people of color, and the press. Yet, some garbage people think we are secretly pleased that another Travis Bickle lunatic was plotting to kill us because it diverts attention from (presumably soon to be former -- oh, wait, yup!) "Empire" star Jussie Smollett's faked hate crime attack.

Smollett is a piece of garbage whose hoax exploited and diminished the suffering of actual hate crime victims. He wasted valuable Chicago police resources that could've been used to shoot black people in the back. However, no actual lives were threatened or would've been directly harmed if his scam had worked. What type of fool-flavored moron would compare these stories or think that Smollett's was objectively more important than a deranged person plotting to kill, as a start, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and presidential candidates Kirsten Gillibrand, Elizabeth Warren, Cory Booker and Kamala Harris?

This one, apparently.

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Russia

Fake Progressive Russian Troll Farm Slapped Off Facebook

It's CNN's fault really.

On Friday, Facebook suspended a Russian propaganda outlet after CNN ripped off the outlet's cheap rubber mask and exposed it as another Scooby Doo villain. As expected, the other Russian troll farms have kicked into overdrive, screaming about #censorship and double standards from the safety of the Kremlin's basement. They're arguing Facebook doesn't have transparency policies so they shouldn't have to tell anyone about all the rubles they get to push Russian talking points. How convenient!

As first published by the Alliance for Securing Democracy, and later reported by CNN, the viral video company Maffick Media was a subsidiary of Ruptly, which itself is a subsidiary of RT, the Kremlin's state-run media outlet. Maffick obscured its ties to the Kremlin by basing itself in Germany, hiring freelancers in Los Angeles, and running its operation out of WeWork spaces (rentable offices for hipsters and cheap douchebags). After CNN aired the report, Facebook suspended Maffick's pages for Waste-Ed, Soapbox, and Backthen, and said, "People connecting with Pages shouldn't be misled about who's behind them," as part of their campaign to root out "coordinated inauthentic behavior and financially motivated spam." Now The Moscow Times reports Maffick's flagship page, In The Now, was blocked.

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popular

RBG Went To Work Yesterday, But That Won't Convince The Geniuses Who Think She Is Dead

And yes, it's a QAnon people thing.

Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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News

Love Your Children Well. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Feb. 14, 2019

Manafort FUXXORED, snakey Republicans throw tantrums over guns, and Fox tries to hide an anti-Nazi documentary. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat, and happy Valentine's Day! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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News

Trump's Nixon Moment. Wonkagenda For Wed., Feb. 6, 2019

Democrats refuse to stand for Trump's American carnage, Stacey Abrams is PERFECT, and Robert Mueller is following the rubles. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!

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popular

Will Someone Please Get Liz Crokin Help Before She Citizen's Arrests Hillary Clinton?

She is clearly not OK and we really feel bad.

Liz Crokin has been the queen of Pizzagate and QAnon for around two years now. She says a whole lot of wacky things about a secret, blood-drinking pedophile cabal that she believes is led by John Podesta and Hillary Clinton and involves about 50,000 people, all of whom she would like to see arrested right now.

But the arrests are not happening, and she doesn't understand why. QAnon promised her mass arrests, and she does not see any of these arrests happening. She can't figure it out! Last week, she announced that if she did not get the satisfaction of seeing these arrests happen soon, she might just give up on the whole thing. This week, she stopped by The SGT Report to talk about doing some citizen's arrests herself and suggesting that if she and her ilk do not get at least one arrest to slake their thirst, they are going to start doing some vigilante justice. So that's bad!

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News

Something's Coming. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 01, 2019

Trump falls asleep in history class, Cory Booker announces his 2020 run, and net neutrality shenanigans. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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popular

Some Creep Set The Pizzagate Restaurant On Fire, Because That's Still A Thing.

What if the fire hurt one of the imaginary child sex slaves? WHAT THEN?

Given that it's been over two goddamn years since a bunch of idiots came up with a completely bonkers theory about how Hillary Clinton and John Podesta were running a child sex ring through a Washington, D.C. pizza restaurant, which they claimed had a sex dungeon in its non-existent basement. You would think they'd be over it by now, that they would have moved onto some other weird shit. But you would be wrong. So, so wrong.

On Wednesday, someone tried to set fire to Comet Ping-Pong, the pizza restaurant at the center of all of this ridiculousness, the same restaurant where Edgar Maddison Welch showed up with an AR-15 military-style rifle, ready to investigate the non-existent dungeon. Police believe it was intentionally set.

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Russia

'I Served Them Massive Amounts Of Fast Food.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 15, 2019

Trump gorges himself on cheeseburgers and pizza as his shutdown enters Day 25. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Crime

Sorry, Sovereign Citizens, The Government Won't Buy You A Bitchin' Camaro

And demanding the government buy you one isn't a 'quirky protest,' it's fraud.

The crazies of the "sovereign citizens" movement don't believe in the legitimacy of the government, and make up all sorts of weirdass pseudo-legal arguments to explain why they don't have to pay taxes, register their cars, or pay their debts. Courts have long refused to put up with their bullshit, but they keep filing fake lawsuits, and sometimes try to "arrest" government officials so they can be tried in a fake court. So it was pretty weird to see Bloomberg News run an op-ed last week by Harvard law professor Noah Feldman arguing that a sovereign citizen's conviction on charges of attempting to defraud the government was actually a very worrisome infringement on the wingnut's "free speech." Worse, Feldman's column has been widely syndicated, so a whole lot of people are now persuaded that sovereign citizens are merely victims of a government witch hunt against their "quirky protest" methods.

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News

President Sh*tmouth. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 8, 2019

Trump to make TV worse with prime time address, and the government shutdown gets worse. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Post-Racial America

Ann "Black Liberationist" Coulter KNOWS The FBI Invented Kwanzaa, So White Liberals Can Suck It

The FBI did not invent Kwanzaa

African Studies Professor and legendary Black Liberationist, Ann Coulter, is getting a bit frustrated with White Liberals ignoring history.

Most holidays, Coulter sits alone in her dusty lair, waiting for a lost child to stumble upon her web so she can suck the joy from its soul. But not this year. This year she was far too busy shutting down the Government to drain any children. Ann didn't even find time to bitch and moan about the quiet desperation she feels from imagining the joyless, lonely, soul crushing years of life she has left stretching out endlessly before her until her ignoble end. Her struggle this year was the idea of all of those joyful blah people merrily frolicking beneath their Kwanzaa tree that gave rise to her violent misery. "Don't those sheep know anything?", she probably thinks to herself. "The black sheep are being fooled by those Liberal white sheep!!", she likely yells this outloud, but nobody would hear it. Ann's only friend is the misery she exudes from every pore. Nevertheless, she will teach those Liberal Blacks about the FRAUD of Kwanzaa on this VERY DAY. Because ROAR!

Unfortunately for America, Ann HATES being the only miserable one. And why should she be miserable, sad, and forgotten, when she can fire up her laptop to spread that shitty misery among people who don't deserve it? Everyone knows Ann is an extremely strange and annoying person. Nobody but Bill Maher has ever liked her. (FACTS!) Things that bother literally nobody else drive her batshit crazy.

Batshit Ann is also bored as fuck. So, of course she would "mock" liberals into feeding her need for attention by giving them a lesson on the history of violent black extremism, or as White Liberals call it, "Kwanzaa." From the union of Ann's misery and menacing boredom, we present An Article She Wrote.

Ann Coulter: FBI Created Kwanzaa And United Slaves To Kill Black Panthers At The COINTELPRO and White Genocide Festival.

(This should have been her headline.)

Daily Caller (Don't click this link):

The day after Christmas, President Trump issued his official Kwanzaa greetings from the White House:

This annual celebration of African heritage, unity and culture is a special opportunity for many to reflect on their shared ancestry and values. At this time, our nation joins in honoring the important contributions of African-Americans to the strength and success of the United States.

We have to assume this was Jared's idea.

You can clearly see the problem, right? Jared+Blah People+Greeting+Celebration= "Nicey Nicey Poo Poo" and that's NOT OKAY. Jared is the worst, nobody likes him at all, anywhere. I understand the impulse to light any and every idea that comes from Jared on fire and shoot it into space. But, we doubt he is the culprit. See, Daddy Trump gave him a vacay recently so he's laying low until it's grift time. Again. This was obviously written by Tiffany Trump or Barron; Jared would ask for 5 billion dollars.

Kwanzaa, celebrated exclusively by white liberals, is a fake holiday invented in 1966 by black radical/FBI stooge Ron Karenga —AKA Dr. Maulana Karenga, founder of United Slaves, the violent nationalist rival to the Black Panthers. Liberals have become so mesmerized by multicultural gibberish that they have forgotten the real history of Kwanzaa and Karenga's United Slaves.


OH MY GOD A BLACK MAN INVENTED A HOLIDAY!!! FAAAAAAKE NEEEEWS!!! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

I wonder where the fuck she's been every Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, 4th of July, Flag Day, Arbor Day-- you get my drift. All holidays are fake, honey. We, humans, invent holidays. Because if we didn't, we'd be just as depressing and imprisoned by our solitude and LACK OF JOY as you are, Ann. Fuck that, quite frankly.

Those were the precepts of Karenga's United Slaves. The United Slaves were proto-fascists, walking around in dashikis, gunning down Black Panthers and adopting invented "African" names. (I will not be shooting any Black Panthers this week because I am Kwanzaa-reform, and we are not that observant.)

Why did I just have a visual of dashiki wearing Rachel Dolezal carrying an AR-15, with a black baby strapped to her back? Must be the caffeine. Better switch to booze. Ok, this is better. THIS MUST BE THAT DRUNK HISTORY SHOW!

Kwanzaa praises collectivism in every possible area of life. It takes a village to raise a police snitch. When Karenga was asked to distinguish Kawaida, the philosophy underlying Kwanzaa, from "classical Marxism," he essentially said that, under Kawaida, we also hate whites.

I'm sure you noticed that Ann loves discussing fake Black history so much it actually does give her a feeling similar to what we humans call "joy." This is the reason her alien length arms flail around violently as she whines her hot takes about Black people to whichever Nazi is listening.

Only white liberals take Kwanzaa seriously. Black Americans celebrate Christmas.
Merry Christmas, fellow Christians!

Sadly, only one Liberal black sheep read this BRILLIANT (not) article. Me. Most black people don't read Tucker Carlson's bullshit rag. I was nominated, and am treated quite well for performing this service. I'll never have the time, energy, or interest in actually bothering to engage seriously with anything that crazy lady writes. I'll just check back regularly to see if she's made a friend, or has had a nice time with a human person every so often. Take care, and don't be like Ann. Love something.

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News

The Sh*tshow Must Go On! Wonkagenda For Fri, Dec. 28, 2018

Trump throws another tantrum, and Democrats plan for next year. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Elections

Maybe Mexico Won't Pay For It? Wonkagenda For Wed., Dec. 19, 2018

Trump's not so proud to shut the government down anymore, and Facebook gave away all your shit. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Elections

'A Free Vacation For Bureaucrats.' Wonkagenda For Dec. 12, 2018

Trump tries to change all the subjects, and Javanka are the Shadow Chief Of Staff. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Russia

'I Am Not A Crook.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 11, 2018

Trump has 'no Plan B,' and wants to shut the government down over his goddamn wall. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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