Convention Survival Guide: Getting on the Floor

conventionsurvivalguide.JPGNext to getting hammered and/or laid, the number one goal of 47,000 of the 50,000 people in Boston for the Democratic Convention this week is simple...to get "on the floor"...


You don't have to hire Washingtonienne to bend you over and throw you down, either. Getting on the floor is really simple: Find a Congressman.

The easiest way is to buy one of those Capitol Advantage books and study it on the flight into Beantown. Some faces--like Henry Waxman's--are, ummmm, memorable...skip over them and pick out the innocuous members who you never heard of...then, when you see them walking down the aisles of Fleet Center, yell out, "Congressman Sherman! Do you have a second?!?"

Invariably Brad will stop out of shock that he was recognized, then tell you to walk with him. Ask him what it is like living in an apartment with his mother in, "The Greatest City in the World, Sherman Oaks." By now, security has waived the Congressman and his apparent guest (you) by and you are on the floor of the convention center. Be sure, when Congressman Gephardt gets up to speak, to start this chant for me: "We love Dick! We love Dick! We love Dick!"

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