Coronation Feat: Eyewitness Accounts
Our view of preparations for inauguration is marred at this point by an array of dazzling pink and yellow spots (this is why we stopped drinking gin in the first place), but we hear things are getting all prettied up in Swamp City. Even the homeless are being cleaned! We're looking for eyewitness accounts of such activities as well as maybe the even more interesting stuff: For instance, we hear security is tight. Seen anyone get a cavity search recently? We want to know. Send reports of Secret Service activity, parade route photoshopping and Texan-wrangling to .