White House

Kayleigh McEnany Does Not Take Questions From CNN 'Activists'

Trump never got a transition, so why should anyone else?

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany held her first press briefing in 50 days, coming out to tell the assembled enemies of the people that while Democrats were all wasting their time impeaching poor innocent Donald Trump, the Dear Leader, his heart near bursting with love for His people, was busy fighting and defeating the coronavirus pandemic, as proved by the arrival of two vaccines that have shown very promising early test results. Also, she very carefully dodged questions about who won the election, because who can possibly know yet at this early point?

Here's the whole sorry mess, which actually lasted a tad less than fifteen minutes before McEnany stalked off, snubbing CNN's Kaitlan Collins by telling her that "activists" don't get to ask questions, which was pretty rich, considering she'd just taken a question from One Trump News Network's Chanel Rion.

Look, Fox Business used the stock photo of McEnany in a black dress, not us.

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Geraldo Rivera Wants To Heal The Country, Trump's Ego, By Naming Covid Vaccine After Him

Almost as effective a world peace plan as buying the world a Coke.

Geraldo Rivera, who is looking more and more like the Purple Pieman from Strawberry Shortcake every day, has an idea for how to heal our divided nation. Is it by establishing Single Payer Medicare for All? No, that is too literal. He wants us to remain sick (or poor, your choice!), but just get along really well like none of this shit ever happened. He also wants to try and make Trump feel better about people thinking he should stop being president just because he lost the election.

This plan? Naming the COVID vaccine after Trump and then having that be the term everyone uses for it all of the time, for decades to come.

"I had an idea with the world so divided and everybody telling him he's gotta give up and time to leave and time to transition and all the rest of it why not name the vaccine The Trump, make it, like, 'have you gotten your Trump yet?' It would be a nice gesture to him. And years from now it would become just kind of a generic name."
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Tyson Managers (Allegedly) Ran Betting Pool On How Many Pork Plant Workers Would Get COVID-19

So THAT'S why Mitch McConnell wants to block coronavirus lawsuits.

Managers at a Tyson Foods pork processing plant in Waterloo, Iowa, allegedly bet on how many employees would contract COVID-19, according to a wrongful death lawsuit filed by the son of a Tyson employee who died in April. The lawsuit accuses Tyson management of engaging in "fraudulent misrepresentations, gross negligence and incorrigible, willful and wanton disregard for worker safety" that led to the April 26 death of plant employee Isidro Fernandez.

Tyson Foods President and CEO Dean Banks, who's one of multiple Tyson executives and managers named in the lawsuit, announced Thursday that the managers accused of running the betting pool have been suspended without pay, and that the company was launching an investigation into the claims, to be led by former US Attorney General Eric Holder. In a statement, Banks called the alleged behavior "disturbing," and said the company is "extremely upset about the accusations involving some of the leadership at our Waterloo plant." You know it's a very sincere statement of concern because the statement's heading reads, "Team member actions not aligned with company's core values." Core values, folks, with a link in the statement to the company's CORE VALUES page.

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Actual Neurosurgeon Ben Carson Now Submitting To Medical Expertise Of The MyPillow Guy

Taking a poison to own the libs, we guess.

For all of Ben Carson's absolute batshittery over the last seven years, he was, at one point, an incredibly talented pediatric neurosurgeon. Can't take that away from him, he really was very good. Famously good. Enough to have Cuba Gooding Jr. play him in a television movie of the week, even. One might think that, as a very talented pediatric neurosurgeon, he would have lots of resources and contacts in the medical community, certainly more than the rest of us. But when he got diagnosed with COVID-19, rather than turn to his fellow doctors for advice, rather than consult actual medical experts (like himself!), he decided to seek out the advice of the guy who invented an As Seen On TV pillow.

Yes, according to a report in the Washington Post, famous neurosurgeon Ben Carson, after being diagnosed with COVID-19, took the advice of MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell and took some Oleandrin, a product marketed by a company Lindell owns a stake in, which also happens to be derived from a very deadly poison. Like there was a whole Michelle Pfeiffer movie about murdering someone with oleander, and it was literally called White Oleander. You do not have to be a neurosurgeon to know that Oleandrin is dangerous, you simply have to watch many, many episodes of the ID Channel's Deadly Women series.

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