Correction: Barack Obama Is Not In Fact The Antichrist

  • Best newspaper correction ever or BEST EVER?Here's the original letter. It's quite something:

    Who and what is Barack Obama? Obama claims nobody can stop him or change anything he's done. This evil must come to pass before the Lord's return and the rise of the Antichrist, but you better know what evil you're dealing with. Nobody is promised another minute of life upon this earth, and judgment comes at the time of your death.

    Many support and stand behind Obama no matter what he does. All these people will stand with Obama in judgment also. Christ promises to spew every lukewarm soul out of his mouth. This means very few will enter heaven, because they show no faith by fighting against the sins of this world daily.

    Of course, if you read the Bible, you know that yes, he IS the antichrist. It's just a fact.

  • Jeb Bush wants to be president, just like his brother and his daddy were, but he doesn't want to talk about the unpleasant stuff. Like all those wars:

    Jeb Bush, who plans to sketch out his foreign policy views in a major speech next week, said on Friday that his likely presidential campaign would focus on future challenges and not on "re-litigating" the wars his brother led the United States into as commander in chief.

    Asked at a news conference here Friday about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and how he would have handled them differently, Bush said, "I won't talk about the past. I'll talk about the future."

    "If I'm in the process of considering the possibility of running, it's not about re-litigating anything in the past," Bush continued. "It's about trying to create a set of principles and ideas that will help us move forward."

    That's nice and convenient for Jeb. Too bad for him we are still dealing with those wars his brother started way back when. If he's going to be president of the United States (spoiler alert: he is not going to be president of the United States), he'll have to deal with some of the problems past presidents created that we are still trying to clean up. Invading all the countries happens to be one of 'em. Especially because:

    However, the shadows of Iraq and Afghanistan hang over the Bush family legacy. In a 2013 Washington Post-ABC News poll conducted around the 10th anniversary of the launch of the second Iraq war, 58 percent of respondents said it had not been worth the fight; 56 percent said the same about the conflict in Afghanistan, another war begun on the watch of George W. Bush.

    Yeah, Jeb might want to work on a better answer than "nah, I don't wanna talk about it" if he thinks he's going to be our next president. (See spoiler alert re: that's not gonna happen.)

  • In case you missed it, we're all a little bit racist:

    [F.B.I. director James B.] Comey shared several “hard truths,” including that: “At many points in American history, law enforcement enforced the status quo, a status quo that was often brutally unfair to disfavored groups.”

    He got right to the point on the racist history of the F.B.I. itself, describing the decision to wiretap Martin Luther King as unjustified — and the attorney general’s order legitimizing the action as “without fact or substance.” Mr. Comey said that he keeps the order on his desk and requires agents to study this shameful period as part of their training. “The reason I do those things,” he said, “is to ensure that we remember our mistakes and that we learn from them.’’

    The second hard truth, he said, is that we all carry unconscious biases around with us and that “many people in our white-majority culture have unconscious racial biases and react differently to a white face than a black face.” As a way of leavening the example, he cited the song “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” from the hit Broadway musical “Avenue Q.”

  • So snorting chocolate is a thing now?

    The chocolate shooter is a cocoa powder catapult that launches two small bumps of cocoa powder into the user’s nostrils.

    While it is obvious that creator Dominique Persoone has found himself at the extreme of chocolate obsession, what’s less known are the possible health effects of snorting chocolate; there is no research on the impact to the nose or lungs, although medical experts are far from condoning this indulgence.

  • Our friends at Happy Nice Time People have some suggestions for who should replace Jon Stewart on The Daily Show:

    A is for Alec Baldwin (D-)

    Funny and liberal… but his MSNBC show ended in disaster after generating no end of bad will at the network and bad press outside it.

    B is for Ben Affleck (C+)

    He’s good on SNL. And it’s an open secret he wants to run for senate someday… unless maybe there’s a chance to influence policy and politics without giving up the Hollywood spotlight?

    C is for Craig Kilborn (C-)

    The once and future host.

    D is for David Letterman (D+)

    He should be free by then. And there was a time he was truly innovative and funny. (Sadly, that time was the 1980s.)

    E is for Ellen DeGeneres (D+)

    She’s got the star power, if nothing else.

    Yup, there's a whole alphabet of suggestions. Go check it out.

  • Two words: space submarine.
  • Just click this. You're welcome.

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