Could 'Public Option' Have Saved Mozart?


A shocking new study proves (or weakly suggests) that beloved composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart died not of Pig AIDS or Night Horrors, but from common strep throat. Mozart perished at age 35 -- and not as a six-year-old muppet child as suggested by the movies -- and was buried in a Vienna trash pile behind Hitler's art school. Butwhat killed the genius has long vexed whoever did this study, we guess.

Anyway, strep throat! They say strep throat. Why won't Barack Obama drop his presumptuous attempts to bring some sort of modern civilized health care system to Dumb America and concentrate on developing a privately funded pharmaceutical company effort to bring Mozart back from the dead, so we can all laugh? [Reuters]


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