Step aside, Trey Radel, we've found a new candidate for "America's Rob Ford." Behold Mayor Gordon Jenkins of the village of Monticello, New York, venting his frustrations on an innocent interview-room wall clock after a DWI arrest on November 16. He is not a happy fella.

Jenkins was arrested after arriving to inspect the scene of a car accident in the town; a volunteer firefighter believed the mayor was drunk, and police arrested him. Jenkins refused a breathalyzer test, and while being held at the police headquarters, was videotaped muttering obscenities and yelling at officers. It's kind of like a low-budget amateur production of The Wire:

“You know something, Davis?” he says to the officer in the video. “I’m the one that hired you in this job, man. I mean, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter about that. But you know something? How the f**k you guys going to play the game?”

Did he follow up with "Come at the king, you best not miss?" Sadly, he did not. Nor did he threaten to exile the officer to the harbor patrol.

The CBS New York teevee report hints at but doesn't quite name another possible complicating factor in the room; Jenkins' attorney, Michael Sussman, said that the incident was part of a longer history of tensions:

“People in Monticello who form his base have suffered indignities at the hands of the same police officers, and they understand what he was saying[.]”

Then again, maybe "people who form his base" referred to small freeholders and mercantilists, because who knows what that could possibly refer to? In the interview room, Jenkins is a bit more explicit:

When the officer later addresses him as “sir,” Jenkins replies: “Don’t call me sir.”

“Mayor? Is that better?” the officer says.

“Don’t call me mayor,” Jenkins replies. “Call me n****r, because that’s what I am when I’m right here in handcuffs. But you know something? I don’t give a f**k.”

A spokesman for the police denied that Jenkins' being handcuffed to a wall in the interview room for much of the night was appropriate and not out of the ordinary:

“The way he was acting, how intoxicated he was — he was treated the way everybody else was treated,” said Monticello PBA President John Riegler.

At least we get an explanation for the clock-tossing. It appears not to have been part of a larger symbolic assault on the concept of Time itself, which would have been cool, but had more mundane motivations. Asked why he'd thrown the clock (which added a count of "criminal mischief" to his charges), Jenkins replies,

“Because I called you and you didn’t answer, and you f***ed… these cuffs are too tight,” Jenkins replies. When the officer returns to the room, Jenkins accuses the officer of trying to “humiliate” him.

The teevee reporter found several people who were convinced that Jenkins is unfit for office, including Monticello Village Trustee Carmen Rue, who has called for Jenkins to resign "for the good of the community" and to "get help." Another person said that Jenkins was "not fit for being mayor," and asked “What mayor would do something like what he does?”

Well, Rob Ford would. Plenty of mayors would. A quick search of "drunk mayor" on Yr Wonket turns up the story of a New Mexico mayor who got shitfaced while conducting business with a bunch of similarly blitzed building contractors and another story about a drunk ex-mayor in Georgia who ran around naked and yelled at law enforcement officers, and we're just one little mommyblog/recipe exchange/vile snark mob. So Jenkins has plenty of company, is what we're saying.

In any case, it looks like Jenkins' reign of criminality, which includes an incident of allegedly hitting a cop last year and a guilty plea three years ago for "selling knock-off sneakers at his local store," may soon be at an end; the village trustees will consider their options at their upcoming meeting on December 6.


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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