Wisconsin GOP Protects Election By Forcing In-Person Voting During Pandemic

THIS is why Nancy Pelosi wanted vote-by-mail in the coronavirus recovery bill.

"The things they had in there were crazy. They had things, levels of voting that if you'd ever agreed to it, you'd never have a Republican elected in this country again," Donald Trump complained to Sean Hannity about Democrats' proposals to ensure voter access in the coronavirus stimulus bill. Just saying the quiet part out loud about Republican vote suppression, as is his habit. HURR DURR, blarped the MAGAts in unison, LOOKIT CRAZY NANCY LARDIN' THE BILL UP WITH DEMOCRAT PORK.

Well ... meet Wisconsin, AKA Exhibit A in the "WUT DOES VOTIN' HAVE TO DO WITH THE 'RONA?" derpsplainer. Thanks to the indefatigable Ben Wikler, chair of the Democratic Party of Wisconsin, who tweeted out all the good links.

It started back in 2018, when Democrat Tony Evers beat then-GOP Governor Scott Walker in the November election, and the gerrymandered Wisconsin legislature raced to enact a bunch of laws during the lame duck session to curtail Evers's powers. Because, like Trump, the Wisconsin GOP knows that when people vote, they lose.

Wisconsin's primary is scheduled for next Tuesday, April 7, and while the presidential primaries are more or less a foregone conclusion, they're not the most important issue on the Wisconsin ballot. Control of the state's highest court is at stake, with Dane County Judge Jill Karofsky, a progressive champion of domestic violence victims, vying to unseat Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice Daniel Kelly, a Republican hatchet man.

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Not Even God Should Shop At Hobby Lobby After It Reopens Stores During Shutdowns


The Hobby Lobby is defying stay-at-home orders because presumably God wants people to die for arts and crafts supplies. How else are Americans going to make party favors for all the parties they can't have? The oh-so-Christian retailer is “quietly reopening" stores across the country, including in Kansas, Ohio and Wisconsin, whose governors have ordered residents to shelter-in-place. These orders close all businesses except for those that provide “essential services." Hobby Lobby does not provide “essential services."

Despite literally having the word “hobby" in its name, Hobby Lobby has tried to rebrand itself as an “essential" business. A hastily made sign on the window of one store claimed it's now operating as an essential business because it sells “PPE masks, educational supplies, office supplies, and various components for at-home small businesses." That's absurd. Bars and restaurants offer food, which is essential, but they're all closed except for takeout and delivery.

Hobby Lobby is not an actual grocery, pharmacy, or hardware store. There's no gray area here, and billionaire owner David Green is choosing to endanger his employees, and the communities they live and work in, in service of his bank balance. How evangelical!

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Rita Wilson Is The Mack Daddy Momma Mack We Need Right Now

She is a national treasure.

Famous acting couple Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson tested positive for the coronavirus almost two weeks ago. In retrospect, this unpleasant news was an early sign that life would never be good again. We were officially sinners in the hands of an angry God or at least suckers doomed by an incompetent president.

Hanks and Wilson were hospitalized in isolation for a week before they were discharged last Monday. They're now recovering in self-quarantine at their Queensland home, which is probably nicer than yours. It's been a tough week. More and more states are on total stay-at-home lockdowns and we're all bummed and reliving the middle part of The Shining.

This is why it was so awesome to see Wilson rapping along to Naughty by Nature's 1992 classic, “Hip Hop Hooray." This wasn't a drunk bachelorette party at karaoke night. The girl's got flow. She's damn good.

Rita Wilson Raps Naughty By Nature

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But no one was totally sure about that until this morning.

If you're an Ohio voter, don't try to show up to the polls today.

Basically, Ohio is a shitshow.

Last week, Republican Governor Mike DeWine set a national precedent by working fast to ban large events, close Ohio public schools, and stop in-person classes at Ohio's public universities. Over the weekend, he ordered the state's bars and restaurants closed. But DeWine stalled on making a decision about whether or not today's primary should happen as planned.

Late Monday, DeWine and Ohio Secretary of State Frank LaRose had still taken no public action to delay the vote. But at their daily press conference with updates on COVID-19, the pair announced their plan to go to court to seek a delay of the election. Assuming the court would rule in favor of the state, county boards of election around Ohio told poll workers not to come to work on Tuesday.

Then, a little after 7 p.m., Common Pleas Judge Richard Frye refused to issue a temporary restraining order delaying the election, saying it would set a "terrible precedent" and elaborating:

"There are too many factors to balance in this uncharted territory to say we ought to take away from the legislature and elected statewide officials and throw it to a common pleas judge in Columbus with 12 hours to go until the election[.]"

So it seemed the primary would go on as scheduled.

And that's when the real fun started.

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