Cowed American Workers Love The Boss's Favorite Candidate!
How many times has this happened to you? You're sitting in your cube, slaving away for The Man, and your class-based resentment is building up, so you decide to donate a little money to fellow traveller Dennis Kucinich online. But before you can get out that credit card, the VP of your department walks by and mentions that he's hosting a Mitt Romney fundraiser -- and that you'll come and write a check for the well-coifed plutocrat's campaign, if you know what's good for you. And the best part of it is, it's all totally legal!
Yes, as the candidates' lust for cash grows all-consuming, more and more pressure is being put on big donors to become "bundlers," a polite term for someone who strong-arms people whom they employ or otherwise hold power over to cough up cash for candidates they probably don't like. It works even better if the candidate is your boss -- Bill Richardson has convinced 274 employees of the New Mexico state government to pony up! And don't think you're immune just because you're self-employed -- some freelancers discover that they have to write a check if they expect to keep well-heeled clients happy. Naturally, it is illegal to recompensate employees for their selfless devotion to their continued employment, because that would actually be good for people who don't usually write big checks.
Bundlers are rewarded not only with the sense of satisfaction that comes from imposing one's will upon others, but also with a goofy nickname bestowed by the campaign and, if they pick the right candidate, a potential ambassadorship to a conflict-free Pacific or Caribbean island nation. Meanwhile, the bundler's victims are left with a lingering sense of violation and, thanks to campaign disclosure laws, the task of explaining for the rest of their lives why they wrote $100 check to Tom fucking Tancredo in 2007.