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Coy Loughner Upsets Political World By Being Registered Independent

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The media are going to dig up information about Arizona alleged murdertard Jared Loughner until his every thought and last inane syllogism have been broadcast to the American public. A star has been born! (You really shouldn't give the youngs the satisfaction of instant fame for something like this. That's all 22-year-olds want.Learn this insight and more from the Internet's smartest rising young political blogger, Jack Stuef, who is on Twitter.) Idiots of both partisan shades of excrement are trying to prove Loughner is a member of the other's political party, despite the now rampant evidence he just thinks in inane syllogisms about space shuttles. And unfortunately, he registered as an independent, which, for the hyper partisans out there, is his worst crime of all.


Suspected Tucson gunman Jared Lee Loughner registered as an independent voter in Arizona in the fall of 2006, according to the Pima County Registrar of Voters.

Loughner registered to vote on Sept. 29, 2006, identifying himself as an independent. Records show he voted in the 2006 and 2008 elections but is current listed as "inactive" on the state's voter roles -- meaning that he did not vote in November.

What an asshole! Throw the political media a bone, insane person who just allegedly murdered a bunch of people!

If we are to parse this, we would say that, because he didn't vote in 2010, he must not have liked John McCain very much:

If you like John McCain, you will vote for him when he comes up for election.

Loughner did not vote when he came up for election in 2010.

Therefore, Loughner did not like John McCain.

If you did not like John McCain, you would have voted for the other major candidate in the 2008 election.

Loughner did not like John McCain.

Therefore, Loughner voted for that Kenyan communist warthog.

See! That was fun and stupid. We sort of remember the novelty of doing those in college.

(In reality: Loughner probably licked his own name onto the ballot. Or wrote in "Loughner Buxx-brand currency.") [WP]

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The Commentczar's In Town

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Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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