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So here's a new take on why evolution -- or as the producers of this video fromCreation Today put it, "evolution," with scare quotes 'cause there's no such thing -- cannot possibly be true. Nice man Darek Isaacs has been reading up on "evolution," and he realized that "evolution" inevitably leads to a “very, very dark place.” You see, if "evolution" were true, then rape would obviously be OK, because with no God to send us to Hell, we'd all just sin alla time, and also, there'd be no constraining the wild seed-sowing of ravenous males!


You have to start asking questions. Well, if evolution is true and it’s just all about the male propagating their DNA, well, we have to ask hard questions like, well, is rape wrong? ... If evolution is about the man propagating their DNA and applying evolutionary thought to humanity, then it’s basically the strongest male takes whoever he can to propagate the DNA. And it's a scary outcome.

Further, he explains that a stable family structure (which can only be one man and one woman, plus concubines if you're in an Old Testament mood) is "anathema" to evolutionary principles, because men gotta be spreading that seed! Unless, of course, there were some sort of evolutionary advantaged for children raised in a stable family environment, and to rearing kids with two partners who like each other, instead of a female wanting to get rid of a child that was forced on her by rape... Nahh, couldn't possibly happen. But congratulations, Mr. Isaacs! You've just answered Olympia Dukakis's big question from Moonstruck! That's why men chase women.

[YouTube via Friendly Atheist]

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He can point to any number of rapes in the Bible, which seem to have happened without any of the characters reading Darwin.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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