Donate

Tragic news for the taxpayers of Kentucky: You will not be forced to foot the bill for creationists to build a really big boat, just like Noah did in the Bible, which actually literally happened, YES IT DID.


For years, Kentucky has been trying to find a way to spend millions of dollars to make Creation Museum impresario Ken Ham's dreams come true by working with his spin-off, Ark Encounter LLC, to build "a full-scale Noah's Ark tourist attraction." Because the one reason Americans haven't put Kentucky at the top of their must-visit list is its lack of a giant-ass boat.

Ham's Answers in Genesis is the same group that built the Creation Museum, filled with "evidence" that science is a liberal hoax, according to Real Scientists like Ken Ham -- who also knows for a scientific fact that if aliens exist, they are definitely going to hell. Factually speaking. With science.

The battle to build Noah's Tinkertoy Ark has been as epic as it was for Noah himself, with some godless heathens pointing out that perhaps taxpayer dollars should not be spent on a for-profit venture to spread the good word about creationism, on account of that pesky First Amendment. And finally, after all these years, it seems the heathens and Satan himself have won:

A proposed Noah's ark theme park in Northern Kentucky has been turned down for around $18 million in state tax incentives amid concerns that it will promote religion and violate the separation of church and state. [...]

"State tourism tax incentives cannot be used to fund religious indoctrination or otherwise be used to advance religion," Tourism Secretary Bob Stewart wrote in the letter. "The use of state incentives in this way violates the separation of church and state provisions of the Constitution and is therefore impermissible."

One of the many problems the group faced was its unapologetic plan to only hire people who believe that yes, the Bible is literally verbatim true (except that argle bargle about bacon-wrapped shrimp, obviously), and that employees of the Noah's Ark theme park would be required to pinky-swear a blood oath that they believed completely in the Church of Ken Ham and would spend their every waking minute forcing other people to believe it too.

The heretics at the Kentucky Tourism Board are under the misguided impression that using taxpayer dollars to explicitly promote religion, and to also discriminate against people who do not subscribe to those beliefs, violates some kind of constitutional something-or-other, whatever, obviously they don't know what they're talking about, because as we all know, the Constitution is based on the Bible anyway. Which is why Ham's group is NOT giving up just yet:

Answers in Genesis, which launched a billboard campaign in Kentucky and New York City this week to counter criticism from "anti-Christian activists," said in a statement that its attorneys are exploring legal options.

And one of the group's attorneys, James Parsons, sent a letter to the cabinet on Monday arguing that the state's demands on hiring policies violate state and federal law.

"If you insist on the newly imposed condition... it will amount to unconstitutional viewpoint discrimination and my client will have no choice but to seek redress in federal court," Parsons wrote.

The letter describes Ark Encounter as an "overtly religious entity" that is "clearly allowed" under state and federal law to use religious criteria in hiring. It also argues that the state's conditions will impose a burden on the freedom of religion without a compelling government interest.

See, if you interpret the Constitution from a biblical perspective, it's quite obvious that the First Amendment actually requires taxpayers to fund the construction of a replica of Noah's Ark and to permit the group to discriminate against non-believers who are going to hell anyway. And the Kentucky Tourism Development Finance Authority originally approved the plan to let the park make millions and millions of dollars that it could keep all to itself, like Jesus said, until some haters came along and pointed out how that was maybe not so legal. Such Judas, many sinful, wow.

We are saying all the prayers that Ken Ham and his faithful flock really do file a lawsuit demanding that the government protect their First Amendment right to build a religious theme park and discriminate against non-believers, because we could use the laughs, amen.

[Courier-Journal via RightWingWatch]

$
Donate with CC

Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

$
Donate with CC

While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

Read More

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc