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Our favorite swishy homo-Nazi crusader is back! Former Michigan Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has lost his trial in appeals court after defaming University of Michigan student Chris Armstrong.


You may remember Andrew Shirvell from a few years ago. He was the bonkers assistant attorney general who made it his mission in life to stalk, harass, and publicly attack a single college kid for the crime of openly having The Gay. The attacks included claims that the kid, Chris Armstrong, was a gay Nazi, gay racist, gay elitist, gay orgier, gay Satanist ... you get the picture. Shirvell did completely heterosexual things like host a blog dedicated to nothing but Chris-related news, follow and harass every single person on Chris's Facebook page, and show up at Chris's house to watch and videotape him from the bushes. We're sure it was all because he cared.

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Further cementing his heterosexuality, Shirvell made references to his "GIRLFRIEND" in all-caps on his Twitter feed, which is something all straight people do, right? We're not saying his girlfriend also lives in Canada and it's just too bad you didn't catch her when she was in town last week, but we're alleging it very loudly.

Well, after getting the bejesus sued out of him, it seems that Shirvell's number came up, as his lust crush stalking target has finally been vindicated. The Michigan appeals court upheld an earlier ruling against Shirvell that basically said, "Yeah no, you cannot stalk kids even if they are gay. Pay up, fucker."

Shirvell had been insisting for years that his harassment against Chris was just a political campaign against Chris's radical homosexual agenda -- which consisted of co-ed housing and extended cafeteria hours -- and therefore the First Amendment protected him from being fired from the AG's office, to which the Michigan courts just had a great big chuckle.

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There is good news for Shirvell though! The total debt he owes to Armstrong was dropped from $4.5 million to just $3.5 million (which is actually closer to the original amount for which Armstrong sued him). Unfortunately, the courts also ruled just last month that Shirvell did not qualify for unemployment from the state of Michigan, what with the state generally not giving money to stalkers in such an official capacity, so Michigan tax dollars will not go toward paying Shirvell's debts.

It is sad to see the last of Shirvell's illustrious career as one of your Wonkette's favorite openly closeted punching bags, but all good things must come to an end.

The good news for Andrew is that he can can always fall back on the residuals he no doubt earned from this homage to him in Glee:

Allegedly.

[MLive / You Offend Me You Offend My Family]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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