Anyway, 'what is it,' 'it is this,' 'thank you,' 'you're welcome.'
Earlier this week, all eight members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff used serious language in rebuking the Capitol attack, writing that "[t]he rights of freedom of speech and assembly do not give anyone the rights to resort to violence, sedition and insurrection."
When federal law enforcement finally held a damn briefing this week on the Trump riots, acting DC US Attorney Mike Sherwin announced he had created a "strike force" to look into the most serious cases, saying "We're looking at significant felony cases tied to sedition and conspiracy."
And Thursday, in "QAnon Shaman" (weird fur guy) Jacob Chansley's case, federal prosecutors described the MAGA riots of 1/6 as a "violent insurrection that attempted to overthrow the United States Government." They also called Chansley "an active participant in" and "the most prominent symbol of" the insurrection.
In addition to having colloquial definitions, words like "insurrection" and "sedition" also have legal meanings. Sedition and insurrection aren't just descriptive words; they're also specific federal crimes.
Would you like to know more?
His lawyer's a real piece of work, too.
A week after the election, Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick offered a reward of One Million Dollars to anyone who could provide evidence of vote fraud. As you may recall, Pennsylvania Lt. Gov John Fetterman immediately stepped right up to say he'd like to
solve the puzzle Pat collect the reward, since he had a case of a guy who tried to vote twice.
Patrick still hasn't shelled out a cent, or even a suite of Whirlpool appliances, to pay Fetterman, but the alleged vote frauder, Ralph Thurman, had a preliminary hearing in state court this week, at which his attorney insisted that if there was any fraud anywhere, it was the entire case against their client, an innocent lamb of a fellow who they said was tricked in a devious plot by Democrats into voting twice. And besides, Thurman's attorney also said, Thurman's son had given permission to vote on his behalf, which made it okay.
Remember that one the next time you're pulled over for speeding. "But officer, Doktor Zoom at Wonkette gave me permission to exceed the posted speed limit!" (Also, I most certainly did not, you liar.)
Such promising young people, too.
Super-smart people who took photos and video of themselves participating in last week's armed insurrection keep getting arrested for some reason, as law enforcement, often with the help of people on social media, continues identifying them. While it might have made a hell of a lot more sense to arrest people during the riots, at least the suspects helped move the process along by documenting themselves trying to overthrow a legitimate election. White privilege: finally an upside.
Let's take a moment to update our earlier roundups of those who were rounded up (or lost their jobs), mostly because they were certain they were above being held accountable. We're sure the list of the terrorists next door will keep getting longer and longer.
Michigan AG Dana Nessel comes through.
For your "damn well about time" Nice Times story today, the Associated Press is reporting that the Michigan attorney general's office is getting ready to announce new criminal charges in the ongoing Flint lead poisoning crisis. Among those to be charged will be former Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder, former state health department director Nick Lyon, and other Snyder administration officials involved in decisions that led to widespread lead poisoning in the mostly Black city of Flint. Snyder and his administration were widely condemned for inaction on the crisis, with many pointing out there's not a chance he'd have moved so slowly had a wealthy white community like Grosse Point or Ann Arbor suffered widespread lead poisoning
On top of the lead poisoning, Flint's water was also blamed for an outbreak of Legionnaire's disease that infected at least 90 people across Genesee County, killing 12.
The news was leaked by "two people with knowledge of the planned prosecution," who let the AP know Tuesday that the AG's office "has informed defense lawyers about indictments in Flint and told them to expect initial court appearances soon." A lawyer for Snyder says nope, nuh uh, witch hunt etc. The AP reports it didn't yet know what exactly the charges will be. Let's hope they get the book thrown at them — ideally a great big medical tome on how lead harms child development, on which they'll have to do a book report weekly, forever.