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Culture Wars

Donald Trump Knows Where His Jews Are

This attempt to 'fight anti-Semitism' couldn't backfire, could it?

Donald Trump is reportedly all set to sign an executive order that's ostensibly aimed at cracking down on anti-Semitism on college campuses, or at least allowing the Education Department to punish schools that take part in or tolerate boycotts of Israel. But the particular mechanism Trump's using to shoehorn protections against anti-Semitism into civil-rights laws has plenty of people on the internets worried, because what the fuck is this fuckery?

The New York Times 'splainers the order's ostensible rationale:

Under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the department can withhold funding from any college or educational program that discriminates "on the ground of race, color, or national origin." Religion was not included among the protected categories, so Mr. Trump's order will have the effect of embracing an argument that Jews are a people or a race with a collective national origin in the Middle East, like Italian Americans or Polish Americans.

Well isn't that nice? Nothing bad could possibly come of an official declaration that American Jews are a whole 'nother nationality, could it? Sure, maybe Donald Trump already talks about Jews as if they're not really Americans, but there's no way this could have any untoward implications, apart from perhaps inflaming that old anti-Semitic slander that Jews are always a people apart, foreigners in their own land. Gosh, wonder if anyone's ever written a book on the matter?

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Culture Wars

Sad Wingnut Explains Slavery Saved Souls

Also cites Jordan Peterson a lot, so you know he's smart.

Twitter brings us glimpses of the world we might otherwise not know about. We're especially fond of the medievalists who share bizarre marginalia from illuminated manuscripts, like weird (non-white) mermaids or violent rabbits. Along similar but far less pleasant lines, yesterday a tweet brought to our attention a bizarre opinion piece at the American Conservative site, in which a dude gripes about how "postmodernism" destroyed his church. That horror was exemplified, among other things, by the time a guest sermon by a mean identity-politics black person said it was "sinful" to point out the simple fact that the slave trade brought millions of Africans to Christ.

See? Every bit as odd as medieval mermaids.

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Courts

Who's Ugly Crying Now? Us, After Reading About Trump's Newest Judge

Sarah Pitlyk just won a lifetime appointment to make sure we all stop sinning, by law.

Another day, another terrible new federal judge.

Last week, the Senate confirmed eight more Trump judges to lifetime appointments, including Sarah Pitlyk, a woman whose entire legal career has been dedicated to fighting against reproductive rights.

We're not just using "reproductive rights" as a euphemism for abortion here. Pitlyk does, of course, think the government should control uteruses, but her hatred of reproductive freedom goes much, much further than that.

Fertility treatments, birth control, and surrogacy? The work of the devil.

Pitlyk has called contraception "evil," a "seriously wrongful" act, and "a grave moral wrong." And she wrote that fertility treatments and surrogacy have

grave effects on society, including diminished respect for motherhood and the unique mother-child bond; exploitation of women; commodification of gestation and of children themselves; and weakening of appropriate social mores against eugenic abortion.

When did she write that, you ask?

2017.

Pitlyk has never argued a motion or taken a deposition, much less tried a case. She was unanimously declared "Not Qualified" by the ABA. And now, she has a lifetime appointment to the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Missouri.

Bloody hell.

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News

Detained Teen Died Of Flu. And Of Border Patrol Not Giving A Sh*t

America: The Great Again Chronicles.

ProPublica has published a horrifying investigative piece on the last day in the life of Carlos Gregorio Hernandez Vasquez, the 16-year-old Guatemalan boy who died in Border Patrol detention May 20. Carlos was the sixth detained child to die in less than a year -- following a decade of no child deaths in immigration detention. And while the other kids at least made it to a hospital before they died, Carlos was the only child to die in a Border Patrol facility. This story includes some gruesome details and may make you want to throw your computer out a window.

And here's a surprise: Video of the cell where Carlos died shows US Customs and Border Protection flat-out lied about important aspects of his death. CBP said in a press release that he was found dead by CPB officers during a routine safety check, about an hour after a prior check confirmed he was just fine.

Not quite.

The cellblock video shows Carlos writhing for at least 25 minutes on the floor and a concrete bench. It shows him staggering to the toilet and collapsing on the floor, where he remained in the same position for the next four and a half hours.

Agents didn't discover the death during a safety check; rather, Carlos's cellmate woke in the morning, found him dead, a pool of blood around his head, and got the attention of guards. CBP logs show an agent "checked" on him three times in the early morning hours, but apparently didn't enter the cell, even though Carlos was seriously ill.

The video shows the only way CBP officials could have missed Carlos' crisis is that they weren't looking. His agony was apparent, even in grainy black and white, making clear the agent charged with monitoring him failed to perform adequate checks, if he even checked at all. The coroner who performed an autopsy on Carlos said she was told the agent occasionally looked into the cell through the window

Carlos's teacher back in Guatemala, Jose Morales Pereira, didn't see the video, but told ProPublica that if someone had a sick animal, they'd at least check on it to make sure it was breathing and not in distress.

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Media/Entertainment

Rick Wilson Really Bummed All Those Republicans He Helped Elect Are Traitors

Don't you hate when that happens?

Rick Wilson is a GOP political strategist who's enjoying a new career offering his insight to moderate Democrats. They love to retweet him (and Steve Schmidt and Tom Nichols and Max Boot AND Bill Kristol) because it shows they're open to a broad range of dumb opinions. If Democrats elected a president as uniquely awful as Donald Trump and the ones who didn't play ball were cast out of the mad king's court, Republicans would let the poor bastards starve in obscurity. Wilson is lucky Democrats are so forgiving and will snatch up copies of his upcoming book, Running Against the Devil: The Plot to Save America From Trump — and Democrats From Themselves. When NeverTrump Republicans say they want to save Democrats from "themselves," their plan is to turn us into less embarrassing Republicans. It's Extreme Makeover: Jack Kemp Edition.

Wilson has a piece this week in Rolling Stone -- how radical! -- and he laments how Donald Trump has coarsened our political discourse. Why, the president and his supporters call anyone who oppose them "traitors." That ain't no way to govern! In the glorious pre-Trump era, Jimmy Stewarts of all political persuasions went to Washington every day and crossed the aisle without rancor.

WILSON: America once used the words "treason" and "traitors" only in cases of actual betrayal of our nation's most vital secrets or interests.

Be honest: The words “traitor" and “treason" don't have the sting they once had; they've been devalued from mis- and over-use by this president. For Donald Trump, any opposition, either personal, ideological, or political is treason. Anyone who stands in his path betrays the Great Leader. Anyone who fails to take the knee is a traitor.

No, Rick Wilson, Donald Trump didn't build that. "America" maybe was conservative in its rhetoric, but actual conservatives took a more liberal approach to character assassination. Newt Gingrich pioneered the "othering" of Democrats in the early 1990s. He released a memo with a thesaurus-full of inflammatory words to describe liberals: "sick, pathetic, lie, anti-flag, traitors, radical, corrupt." Wilson himself, while working for John McCain's 2008 campaign, created attack ads tying Obama to his former pastor Jeremiah Wright, who he'd already denounced by this point. The ads claimed Wright preached "hate" about America that Obama could "believe in." This was just the start of Republicans calling Obama a Benedict Arnold in blackface.

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Courts

George Zimmerman, Larry Klayman Team Up To Do More Evil Sh*t To Trayvon Martin's Family, DEFINITELY AREN'T RACIST

Shit is fucked up and bullshit.

George Zimmerman, apparently not satisfied with having merely shot Trayvon Martin dead in 2012, is now suing Martin's family and everyone involved in the second-degree murder case against Zimmerman, even though the trial ended in Zimmerman's acquittal. But you see, decent people nationwide detest George Zimmerman, and for some crazy reason think he's a racist. Plus he can't seem to hold a job, and his attempts to make a living selling shitty racist art, signing autographs, or auctioning off the not-murder weapon haven't brought in the wealth and acclaim he clearly deserves. Surely some evildoers must be responsible for that. Couldn't be anything George Zimmerman did, because he's a very great guy.

Please disregard the domestic violence.

So that's why he and wingnut lawyer Larry Klayman are suing Trayvon Martin's family and a few thousand other people, demanding $100 million in damages from all those who conspired to defame Zimmerman and manufacture evidence against him and just generally ruin his life. The defendants, the suit claims, "have worked in concert to deprive Zimmerman of his constitutional and other legal rights."

Oh yes, and would you believe that, by sheer coincidence, the lawsuit is based on claims in a book and "documentary" movie with the compelling title The Trayvon Hoax: Unmasking the Witness Fraud That Divided America, released in September. And the lawsuit is being flogged to media outlets by the movie's director, Joel Gilbert, who's described by the Daily Beast as "a fringe filmmaker who traffics in conspiracy theories." You don't say!

A cynic might even suspect Zimmerman, Klayman, and Gilbert know the lawsuit will have every bit as much success as Klayman's other legal efforts, but that it might generate some book sales and movie downloads. But that's a very uncharitable take. Probably the book and movie are simply so full of astounding new evidence proving George Zimmerman is the real victim that Klayman and Zimmerman had no choice but to file the lawsuit, to correct the public record. All Zimmerman wants is his good reputation back. And One Hundred MILLLLLION dollars.

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Cops Behaving Badly

Bill Barr: Support Your Local Police. Or Else.

It's all about Order and Order.

Attorney General Bill Barr likes to think of police officers as a brave army that's literally at war -- with crime, or with evildoing criminals, or maybe with the communities they police. And if people don't like it, they should just shut up, submit to lawful authority, and stop resisting. Back in August, at a Cop Convention in New Orleans, Barr explained that American law enforcement shouldn't be hamstrung by all this stupid stuff about "rights," because cops are right and anyone a cop decides is a criminal is wrong:

We need to get back to basics. We need public voices, in the media and elsewhere, to underscore the need to "Comply first, and, if warranted, complain later." This will make everyone safe – the police, suspects, and the community at large. And those who resist must be prosecuted for that crime. We must have zero tolerance for resisting police. This will save lives.

Barr didn't explain how a 10-year-old who gets shot to death within seconds of cops pulling up on him was being too much of a loudmouthed resister, but on Tuesday he offered further thoughts on who deserves police protection and who doesn't. He seems to think that "comply first, and if warranted, complain later" offers too much latitude, because there's entirely too much complaining about unarmed black people getting shot by cops.

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State/Local Politics

Beto O'Rourke Doing Kickflips ... On The Texas House

The best House-flipping show there is.

Beto O'Rourke, the angsty smart annoying inspirational former congressman who we fell in love with when he ran against Ted Cruz and then fell out of love with when he ran for president, is now doing something wonderfully useful with the donor/email list he built up during his two campaigns. No, he's not running for Senate. That ship got torpedoed -- for Texas in 2020 at least -- by Beto's own call to ban and buy back assault rifles. It's a great idea for America, which is precisely why it's electoral poison for Texas at large. For now.

Instead of running himself, O'Rourke is campaigning for a far more achievable goal: electing enough Democrats to the Texas House of Representatives to flip it blue. That might sound like a crazy notion, but only if you haven't been following Texas politics. As O'Rourke points out in tweets and an email blast, in the 2018 midterms, 17 Republicans in the Texas House won their races by less than 10 points. Flip just nine of those seats in 2020, and control of the Texas House goes to Democrats.

O'Rourke's email says that's a very realistic goal:

There are almost 90,000 people in these 17 target districts who have voted Democrat in the past but aren't registered to vote at their current address.

We only have to win nine of these seats for Democrats to have a majority in the Texas legislature. Victories in these districts will mean an end to racist gerrymandering, and a chance to address gun violence, reproductive rights, Medicaid expansion, criminal justice and climate change in Texas.

O'Rourke is urging his supporters to contribute to Flip the Texas House, a group that grew out of his 2018 Senate run. Contributions will pay to send unregistered folks who previously voted Democrat "pre-filled voter registration forms with stamped return envelopes" Easy-peasy! At least, the registration outreach part, which is an absolutely vital first step.

Of those 17 targeted districts, O'Rourke notes, nine of 'em voted for him in 2018, so a Democrat can definitely win there if there are enough Dems registered to vote. (Yes, yes, finding good candidates is kind of important, too! And GOTV! And canvassing!)

You want a map? Here's a map, from Flip the Texas House. Some of those crazy district shapes give you a good idea of why it might be better to have another party drawing the district lines, huh?


The Houston Chronicle points out the targeted districts are clustered in the kinds of areas where Democrats have been making gains nationwide: 10 are

in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and five are in and around Houston. One is in San Antonio and one is in Killeen.

The push follows a 2018 cycle in which Democrats flipped 12 Texas House seats from Republican control. Texas Democrats have not had the majority of seats in the Texas House since 2001.

Seems like it's high time to change that, huh? NINE SEATS. Redistricting is in the balance. And the Texas GOP is already freaking out about the possibility of challenges to incumbents making some of those races even harder to win.

It won't happen without a lot of work, but it's an awfully exciting prospect. Can't you just imagine how tickled the sainted Molly Ivins would be to see the Texas House go blue again? We'll close with a favorite Molly quote, a fine mantra for a campaign -- even if it's a bit long to chant in full:

So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.

Go, Texas. And allies from the other 49 stars on the flag. Let's flip the Texas House!

[Houston Chronicle / Daily Kos / Texas Tribune / NBC News / FLIP the Texas House / Photo by Edward Jackson, Wikimedia Commons]

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Feminininism

Having Your Kid's Hymen Inspected Should Definitely Be Illegal

New York lawmakers agree!

Last month, rapper T.I. went on a podcast and told a tale about how he takes his daughter, who is now 18 years old, for annual hymen inspections to ensure she is still a virgin, and we all, collectively, screamed in horror. Well, except for a few terrible people on social media who had to come out and defend him, saying he had a right to "protect his investment" or that he was just from "a different time." T.I., for the record, is 39 years old, and let me assure you, the 1990s were not really "a different time" in that way. Never once did anyone say, "Oh, let's go out and buy some flannels at Contempo Casuals, drink some Orbitz, and then my dad is gonna take me to the gyno to make sure my hymen is still intact!"

In case you need a refresher:

T.I. offered this information after being asked whether or not he's had the sex talk with his daughters, and then shared a story about how on her 16th birthday, he "let her" have fun and celebrate and enjoy the day, and then the day after the party, "she's enjoying her gifts" but he went and "put a sticky note on the door: 'Gyno. Tomorrow. 9:30.'"

He then went on to explain that although the doctor explained to him that the presence of a hymen or lack of one did not necessarily mean anything, and that a hymen could also break from regular activities like riding a bike or a horse, he had responded:

"So I say, 'Look, Doc, she don't ride no horses, she don't ride no bike, she don't play no sports. Just check the hymen, please, and give me back my results expeditiously.'"

Has there ever, in the world, been a more repulsive sentence? Probably, but I sure as hell can't think of one right now.

Now, state lawmakers in New York are looking to pass a bill to make such inspections illegal, ban doctors from performing them and deem any so-called "virginity inspection" done outside a medical office as a sexual assault. Which, you know, it is.

So far, the bill, introduced by Assemblywoman Michaelle C. Solages, has three co-sponsors in the Assembly, and Senator Roxanne J. Persaud has introduced another bill in the state Senate. Via the New York Times:

"It made me angry and I was just very upset," said Assemblywoman Michaelle C. Solages, a Democrat who introduced a bill last week to prohibit the practice. "To use your platform to say that you did this is just misogynistic and it sets the women's movement back."[...]

"The invasive procedure of a virginity examination violates the sanctity and purity of a female," Ms. Persaud said of the exams, commonly known as purity tests or virginity tests. "Whether a child or adult, this breaches not only moral grounds, but also the privacy entitled to a female and their doctor."

The World Health Organization, last year, also recommended that the procedure be banned:

"Virginity testing" is a violation of the human rights of girls and women, and can be detrimental to women's and girls' physical, psychological and social well-being. "Virginity testing" reinforces stereotyped notions of female sexuality and gender inequality. The examination can be painful, humiliating and traumatic. Given that these procedures are unnecessary and potentially harmful, it is unethical for doctors or other health providers to undertake them. Such procedures must never be carried out.

Of course, one expert cited by the New York Times suggested that making "virginity tests" illegal could pose a problem, given the fact that there is no actual way to tell whether or not someone is a virgin.

"I saw it and am appalled and disappointed," said Dr. Maura Quinlan, an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University. "You can't tell if someone is a virgin, so how can you ban something that is not possible?"

I get it, but if anything, this seems like a problem with working out the phrasing so that it doesn't appear to legitimize the procedure as something it's even medically possible to do. Maybe call them "hymen inspections" or refer to it as any "inspection of female genitalia designed to determine whether a woman or girl has had vaginal intercourse," as the WHO does.

The fact that it's not a real medical thing doesn't mean that it's not happening — and it's the fact that it is happening at all that is the problem, not that T.I. or whoever may not get an accurate result. We know that "conversion therapy" isn't "real" either, but that doesn't mean that attempting it isn't harmful. A doctor literally cannot re-implant an ectopic pregnancy into the uterus, but that doesn't mean that the Ohio law requiring them to "attempt" it is not a very bad law.

However they decide to put it, let's hope that other states soon follow suit.

[New York Times]

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Immigrants

ICE Made Up A Fake University To Trap Foreigns, Betsy DeVos SO JEALOUS

America safe at last from 250 people paying big bucks to overstay their visas.

We sure wouldn't want this story to be lost in the Thanksgiving news crater. Friday, while we were all digesting our cranberry business or sliding off roads after Google Maps lied to us (no injury, minor damage, we have insurance), the Detroit Free Press was bringing America an update on a sleazy sting operation ICE used to arrest some 250 immigrants, mostly students who'd legally entered the US from India and then lost their student visas. (The Washington Post also wrote it up Saturday.)

The scam was simple enough, as WaPo summarizes:

The University of Farmington, a fictitious school that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement marketed as a hub for STEM students who wanted to enroll and not "interrupt their careers," had a fake name, a fake website and a fake motto on its fake seal. "Scientia et Labor," the seal said, which means "Knowledge and Work."

Also, despite having a fake seal just like Trump University did, you can't blame Trump or even Stephen Miller for this one, since as the Free Press reports, the "University of Farmington" sting got rolling under the Obama administration, in 2015.

But in 2017, with Trump's Deport Everyone agenda in full swing, Homeland Security expanded the operation, with agents from ICE's Homeland Security Investigations division (HSI) setting up a fake office for the university and hiring "recruiters" to help sell the fake school to immigrants trying to stay in the USA. Lawyers for some of the recruiters have argued their clients were victims of entrapment, since they were told the university was perfectly legitimate.

As of Friday, the scheme has resulted in 250 arrests. Out of those, ICE says 80 percent "voluntarily" left the USA; 10 percent have been given final deportation orders, and the rest are contesting their deportation in one forum or another. The eight recruiters all pleaded guilty, too, despite the iffy tactics employed by ICE in the investigation, which included telling the recruiters they'd get tuition credit for recruiting other students.

Again, the government insists this is all excellent law enforcement, since those the scam caught really did have expired visas, and should have known the school was fraudulent since there were no classes, no classrooms, and no real degrees. Therefore, we should overlook some of the scummier parts of the operation, like the real-looking website, the agents posing as administrators and even assuring the "recruiters" it was all legal, or the lengths HSI went to to make it seem like the university might be a real school, or at least a fake school that had really fooled the feds.

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News

Who Shall Build The Wall? Oh, Just Some Fox Dude Who Loves Licking Trump's Butt

Why yes, dude's also involved with the private WALL enthusiasts.

After Donald Trump personally lobbied the Army Corps of Engineers to award WALL contracts to a North Dakota contractor who repeatedly promoted his business on Fox News, the Defense Department announced Monday it had given that company a $400 million contract to build some WALL in an Arizona wildlife refuge. The Washington Post reports the company, North Dakota-based Fisher Sand and Gravel, got a contract to build 31 miles of new WALL in the Cabeza Prieta National Wildlife Refuge in Yuma County, Arizona. And you just know this was a triumph of the free market, where the best jobs get done by the best people!

Or possibly not!

Trump has repeatedly pushed for Fisher to get a wall-building contract, urging officials with the Army Corps of Engineers to pick the firm — only to be told that Fisher's bids did not meet standards. Trump's entreaties on behalf of the company have concerned some officials who are unaccustomed to a president getting personally involved in the intricacies of government contracting.

Trump has been enamored with Tommy Fisher, the company's chief executive, who has made multiple appearances on Fox News to promote his firm and insists that it would do a better job than those the government had already chosen. The company's attorneys did not immediately respond to requests for comment late Monday.

Sometimes the Invisible Hand needs a bit of guidance, is all.

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History Facts

Stupidest Jim Hoft's Brother On The Internet Can't Believe We're Not Executing Democrats

In which a Doktor of Rhetoric's head explodes.

Joe Hoft, the idiot brother of Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft, wants to know why we aren't killing Democrats yet for plotting to overthrow Donald Trump, because after all, the conspirators who assassinated Lincoln all danced the Hemp Fandango, didn't they? Yes, he's as serious as any of the idiots at Gateway Pundit ever get.

Here's the historical "logic," boldface and all:

President Trump is arguably the best US President since Lincoln, the last great President removed from office by Democrats.

Lincoln was assassinated after holding the country together and freeing Democrat owned slaves during the great Civil War. President Trump is too good for the Democrats. He has an 'America First' agenda which the traitorous Democrats and elites despise.

It's time that we Americans stand and call this what it is. This is another Democrat attempt to remove a President through any means necessary. It is seditious and treasonous. The Democrats in the 1860's that were in on the Lincoln assassination were killed in their escape or hanged high. ["hanged high" is highlighted in red at the site, because that is what the color of blood is, indicating Joe Hoft is quite serious indeed -- Dok]

We are entering a new phase when it's time to hold all seditious and treasonous Democrats who actively act to remove President Trump from office to the same fate!

Mind you, that's just the preface to the article. It gets even stupider after that. But the piece represents an apotheosis of sorts for the historical idiocy pushed by charlatans like Dinesh D'Souza and "Prager U": The Democrats of a century and a half ago supported slavery and Jim Crow, and party realignment never happened, so today's Democrats are exactly the same, and probably are seditious traitors, too. Just like that great Democratic hero John Wilkes Booth.

Also, please pour one out for poor Richard Milhous Nixon, who you might think would fit the category of "removed from office by Democrats." We aren't sure whether Hoft doesn't mention him because he wasn't a great president, or because Republicans had the good sense to tell Nixon it was all over.

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2020 Congressional Elections

Will GOP Lady-Gal Get WNBA Lez Cooties On Senate? MAYBE!

Georgia governor may appoint own rightwing flunky to Senate, not Donald Trump's, and they're going craaaazy.

Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp is in hot water with his own party's Trump loonies -- which is to say, virtually all Republicans -- because of reports he's likely to defy the Great Man's pick for the US Senate seat being vacated at the end of the year by Johnny Isakson, who's resigning due to declining health. Donald Trump wants rabid loyalist Rep. Doug Collins to move from the House to the Senate, but Kemp appears to have settled on an Atlanta financial services exec, Kelly Loeffler, a newcomer to politics but clearly an excellent choice for the Senate since she'll always side with rich people while perhaps not totally alienating women voters in the 'burbs the way a hardline Trumpsucker like Collins would.

For his efforts to game out an "electable" conservative candidate, Kemp is being excoriated by Trumpetarians as a dirty rotten traitor to the cause, since Trump's last-minute endorsement of Kemp in the 2018 GOP primary (breaking a Trump pledge to stay neutral) is thought to have tipped the primary his way.

Let's try not to revel too much in the anticipated wingnut-on-wingnut violence, shall we?

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Culture

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2019

For John Dillinger, in hope he is still alive.

Yr Wonkette began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and quite a few things have changed since then. The deadpan list of Bloody American Triumphs is more relevant than ever in this annus horribilis of 2019, and if Burroughs were with us today, he might look at his 1986 poem and wonder how he'd ever been such a starry-eyed optimist. Back in the anxious Thanksgiving of 2015 we fretted because the presidential campaign featured "serious debates over registering religious minorities and bringing back torture." Heh. We were so innocent back then, and didn't think that guy had any chance of really getting elected.

William S. Burroughs - A Thanksgiving Prayer youtu.be

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Trump

Trump's New Personal Vietnam Is His Made-Up War On Thanksgiving

Aren't you grateful you have a president who lies constantly?

Donald Trump congratulated himself last night for his daring rescue of Thanksgiving. I know the holiday came a little later this year, but I didn't think it was in any serious peril. The president kicked off his Florida rally with the bizarre claim that liberals hate Thanksgiving so much they don't even want to call it "Thanksgiving."

TRUMP: As we gather together for Thanksgiving, you know, some people want to change the name Thanksgiving. They don't want to use the term Thanksgiving. And that was true also with Christmas. But now everybody's using Christmas again. Remember this?

I recall the entirely made-up "War on Christmas," but it's hard to notice the ending of something that never existed in the first place. Trump is probably one of those people who freak out over the concept of "Friendsgiving," which is a separate event all together.

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Post-Racial America

Did Someone Bet A Moist Papa John That He Could Not Eat 40 Pizzas?

His pizza is bad and also he is bad.

Last year, John Schnatter, the founder of trash pizza chain "Papa John's" stepped down from his position as CEO following comments he made in November of 2017 about how the NFL was hurting his pizza business by letting players kneel to protest police brutality. Then, earlier this year, he stepped down as Chairman of the Board of Directors after being taped on a conference call saying "Colonel Sanders called black people n*****."

And now he's back, doing a very wild interview with WDRB in Kentucky, in which he claims that a day of reckoning is coming, and also that he ate 40 pizzas in 30 days. This probably explains why he is so moist, given that probably has not had a bowel movement in a month. I love pizza, but that is just not healthy.

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