Can you believe this racist?
This is the third time this week we've covered the mixed up files of Mrs. Cindy Hyde-Smith. I'm as happy about it as you are, but the US Senator from Mississippi has a bad habit of confessing to bad things in front of cameras. She's clearly a politician best suited for a simpler, more racist time, or at least an alternate reality where cameras weren't invented. Even the most detailed sketch of her saying stupid stuff wouldn't have the same impact.
Hyde-Smith faces Democrat Mike Espy in a runoff election on Nov. 27. Video surfaced Thursday of her at a recent campaign stop in Starkville, Mississippi, promoting the practical benefits of voter disenfranchisement.
"And then they remind me that there's a lot of liberal folks in those other schools who ... maybe we don't want to vote," Hyde-Smith is heard saying. "Maybe we want to make it just a little more difficult. And I think that's a great idea."
Stop in the name of the law! And buy these Kamala 2020 T-shirts we made you ourselves!
What's up fuckers? Were you waiting for me to come back from Mexico and write words at ya? Well, you know I don't write words at ya anymore, because of how I hate you, each, individually, but more importantly Trump has knocked all the words right out of my silly little lady brain.
She loves all the little black babies.
Monday, we collectively scratched our heads over the racist, scatter-brained antics of Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith of Mississippi, who joked for no sane reason about attending "public hangings" -- what we know as, you know, "lynching." Her opponent in the upcoming Senate runoff, Democrat Mike Espy, is black and this seemed especially insensitive in a state where Emmett Till committed "Mississippi suicide." Hyde-Smith didn't apologize but she also didn't double down on the crude remark. That's almost worthy of the Jeff Flake Award for Moral Courage.
However, Hyde-Smith later appeared at a press conference with Governor Phil Bryant, who appointed her to the Senate in April, presumably after she was the 12th caller in a radio promotion. The National Right to Life organization had just endorsed Hyde-Smith (it apparently has a lax policy on hangings). Reporters asked some followup questions about her appalling comments, and she performed as well as Scott Bakula might've if he'd just "Quantum Leaped" into her body and was trying to get his bearings. Oh boy!
Black women working hard is scary as hell.
Apparently, a black woman can find herself arrested at a moment's notice, even though the only crime she commits is being damn good at her job. Georgia State Senator Nikema Williams is that particular type of black woman: good at her job, dedicated, and willing to put her freedom on the line to get the job done. So why was Williams dragged from the Georgia state Capitol building, arrested, zip-tied, and tossed into a police van for hours like some common Paul Manafort -- oh, and UPDATE, she says she was STRIP-SEARCHED TOO? (See end of post.) Let's find out.
Georgia state Sen. Nikema Williams was arrested Tuesday at a rally at the state's Capitol building, where she joined activists to demand the counting of every ballot cast in the state's razor-close governor's race between former Secretary of State Brian Kemp and former state Rep. Stacey Abrams.
Shoot first and provide BS explanations later.
I don't like guns. No need for a spoiler alert there. My chief opposition, among many, is that they get black people killed. It doesn't matter if we're a kid in public park or a brother in his own living room, a gun will Calgon away all our problems and replace them with a death certificate suitable for framing. The NRA, always eager to sell more murder machines, suggests the "solution" is for black people to have more guns themselves. We get shot for holding fake guns and real guns are at least twice as dangerous, so I'm not sure how this is good advice. Do they just want us to die?
Look at what happened to armed security guard Jemel Roberson. There was a ruckus early Sunday morning at Manny's Blue Room in Robbins, Illinois, just south of Chicago. Some drunks were asked to leave before any Simply Red lookalikes were hurt (I kid to dull the pain). Someone came back with a gun and opened fire. Roberson, 26, caught up outside with one of the men involved and pinned him to the ground, with a gun pointed at his back -- classic cop procedural move. Two police officers appeared at the scene and, according to witnesses, one of them fatally shot Roberson, who if you're keeping track was the wrong guy. They shot the wrong guy. "Oops" doesn't quite cut it.
And judges are starting to agree with her!
Meet the new archetype of the modern Democrat. She's smart, she's fierce, and she's not here to let the GOP walk all over her while she begs for bipartisanship or tries to be extra best good friends with the racist ass GOP. Oh, did I mention she's a WOMAN, she's black, and she is completely UNBOTHERED by Republicans trying to shame her into going the fuck away? It is likely she would tell you "HELL NO" like Miss Sofia* if you order her to stop fighting until the LAST VOTE IS COUNTED. She is our Spirit Queen. She is suing Brian Kemp's corrupt ass and trying to shine a light on his corrupt little ways.
Mississippi Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith made a gross comment earlier this month that is both clueless of history and casually racist. On November 2, just before the midterm election, she was at a campaign event with cattle rancher Colin Hutchinson. Demonstrating just how "ride or die" she was for Hutchinson, she boasted, "If he invited me to a public hanging, I'd be on the front row!"
This is an odd statement because public hangings are historically general admission. Maybe she's saying she'd be willing to camp out overnight to ensure she can watch some poor bastard dance at the end of a rope like a common psychopath. She is, of course, un-ironically "100 percent pro-life," because life has value until it's born. Eventually ending that life in a sickening, extrajudicial manner is a pleasant spectator sport. Bring the popcorn.
'We are here to help each other get through this thing, whatever it is."
It is November 11, 2018, and time again for our annual tribute to Kurt Vonnegut, who made us want to be a writer, and to his birthday, which this year falls on the 100th anniversary of the end of what was optimistically called the War to End All Wars. This is our seventh consecutive Kurt Vonnegut's birthday here at Wonkette, if you can believe that, and for a change, what with the Armistice centenary and all, we're going to write an at least partly new column for the occasion instead of reprinting the old one and adding one more Vonnegut quote about war and peace. Last year's column had ballooned to 2600 words, and good heavens, that's a lot of Vonnegut even for us (there is never too much Vonnegut).
Of course, it is mandatory we begin properly, with the quote from Breakfast of Champions that we take down from the attic every year, because what's a tradition without the proper decorations?
God, we love this woman.
Michelle Obama has written a memoir, Becoming, that you should all pre-order right now so you can rejoice in the majesty of her life. She's always been real, unlike the current cubic zirconia first lady, so you might wonder how much real-er she can manage to be. Well, Obama easily ascends to the top of the Cheryl Lynn scale of realness when she reveals that she suffered a miscarriage 20 years ago that left her feeling "lost" and "alone." She also shares for the first time that both her daughters, Malia and Sasha, were conceived through in vitro fertilization.
2000 deja vu all over again
Florida has been a hot mess of electoral shenanigans if not outright fraud for as long as I can remember. I still have the Katherine Harris-inflicted scars from the 2000 election. Tuesday night, Republicans Ron DeSantis and Rick Scott pulled ahead in the vote counts for Florida governor and senator, so they just sort of stopped counting. Not counting votes is a reliable, Supreme Court-approved strategy. Why wait for all those pesky returns to come in when we've already tabulated the results from the Republican candidates' own homes? They even counted those votes twice!
Guess he'd know from shitholes.
Ted Nugent, a native of Michigan, took to Facebook Wednesday to express his displeasure at the
Badger Chevrolet Wolverine State for electing a whole bunch of Democrats, and maybe one Democrat in particular if you know what he means and we think you do.
The line to dance on Sessions's political grave starts behind the ghost of Coretta Scott King.
Jeff Sessions "resigned" as attorney general Wednesday, and African Americans across the country living, dead, and somewhere in between, are rejoicing. Now, we are sensible people. We understand that Donald Trump whacked Sessions for no honorable reason, almost certainly to obstruct justice in the Russia investigation. We get that the acting attorney general, Matthew Whitaker, literally wrote a cover letter for the job posing as a CNN op-ed stating that Robert Mueller's investigation had "gone too far."
Just listen to us for a moment, white people: We know that Trump is shredding the rule of law and we've just advanced a few rounds in the fascism home game. We're going to be sad later, but just let us be happy right now. And, baby, are we happy.
What's with this guy?
David Brooks, member of the Mediocre White Men Society (his uncle was on the board), is concerned that America is becoming a chocolate city. Brooks scribbled out his scary thoughts in yesterday's New York Times.
Here's the central challenge of our age: Over the next few decades, America will become a majority-minority country. It is hard to think of other major nations, down through history, that have managed such a transition and still held together.
Let's "kick the ballistics" here: "Majority-minority country" is a white supremacist concept. How are the current minorities still "minorities" if we suddenly outnumber what was once the "majority"? I remember an interview with Steven Tyler back in 1998 when he described himself as an "18 year old with 32 years experience!" This is a similarly pathetic denial of reality and the ongoing march of time except also really racist.
We have finally come to the paradoxical point where Trump did something so racist, even racists are attempting to distance themselves from the diabolical nonsense. When the "Migrant Caravan Ad" first dropped, CNN (probably realizing the media has hired enough racists) immediately declined to play that bullshit on air, because, hey, who even wants to see that shit? Well, unfortunately for us, NBC decided we really really wanted to see it during Sunday Night Football, but they were DEAD WRONG and regretted it. Because we dragged them. But we are now saved from having to see the "Hispanic Willie Horton" ad ever again, even on Fox News, because they BANNED it. Even Facebook banned it, and we all know they love doing the opposite of what's right, so, this is pretty stunning.
From the New York Times:
"NBC and Facebook, both of which had run the ad over the weekend, reversed course after a backlash on Monday and announced that the commercial would be removed, saying it fell short of their in-house advertising standards. CNN had refused to air the ad from the start, calling it "racist."
First of all, BOTH NBC and Facebook ought to be ashamed that they keep helping Trump spread hate -- NBC with nonstop coverage of his rallies, and Facebook literally giving our data to his campaign. After all the help they gave him, and all the shit they got for it since 2016, why the ever-loving fuck did they let this ad run in the first place? CNN obviously learned some shit this year, and chose to act right in the first place. Good.
This was our moment.
Sunday marked the 10th anniversary of Barack Obama's election as the first black US president. Ten years! What an epic night. People were celebrating in the streets like the original ending of Return of the Jedi. Black folks were crying ... good tears, not the "does anyone know the nearest stop for the Underground Railroad?" tears from 2016. We had achieved something unprecedented. So many states, including Florida or Georgia, had never even had a black governor (not yet) but the US had a black commander-in-chief. It was a milestone Americans of all races could appreciate, because it meant that racism was officially over. A former coworker had already insisted this happened in 2003 when Halle Berry won an Oscar (so "Spike Lee can just shut up!") but this was less irrational.
I tend to only use the term "post-racial America" ironically, but the notion was
promoted in all earnestness back in 2008 when Obama looked to do the impossible. The beautiful dream was that the country was becoming more diverse and more tolerant. The less attractive reality was we were only becoming more diverse.
When Obama crushed war hero John McCain, black voters made up 13 percent of the electorate. White voters were 74 percent -- a staggering 15 percent drop since Ronald Reagan's 1980 victory over Jimmy Carter. Roughly the same percentage of white people voted for McCain as they did Reagan.
Yes, 'waaaah' is their closing message.
I'm not a regular viewer of "Saturday Night Live," which I'm not certain even needs to air live or on Saturdays. The last sketch the show produced that I found amusing was "Liza Minnelli Tries to Turn Off a Lamp," because that involved two of my favorite things -- Liza (with a Z!) and light fixtures (with an X!). So, all the headlines and social media screaming on Sunday about Pete Davidson, a cast member who isn't Kate McKinnon, surprised me. What's the big deal?
Apparently, Davidson made a joke, on an occasionally joke-making show, about the appearance of GOP House candidate Dan Crenshaw. Crenshaw is a former Navy Seal who was almost blinded in 2012 while serving in Afghanistan. He lost his right eye in a blast, and his left eye was so badly damaged it's considered a "miracle" he retained sight in it after several surgeries. He was deployed again twice, with just the one eye, which is impressive. But still, I guess I'm not seeing why Davidson's joke has inflamed the Internets. He didn't mock Crenshaw's actual service, which led to the injuries, like a common president of the United States.
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