White Nonsense

Dennis Prager Feels Like The Left's N-Word Because He Can't Just Say ... You Know.

We also believe he has said the full racial slur.

Dennis Prager at the not-an-actual-university Prager University feels very oppressed that he can't say the n-word. On his self-titled radio show, Prager was discussing how former presidents Harry Truman and Richard Nixon liked to drop racial and anti-semitic slurs. "Steve" from Cleveland, Ohio, phoned in to ask Prager why he used the euphemistic n-word but actually said the full anti-semitic slur. One possibility is that Prager is Jewish and not black, but Prager had a different, more banana pants answer for "Steve."

PRAGER: So, why didn't I say "k-word"? Because the left has made it impossible to say the n-word any longer. That's disgusting, it's a farce. It's the only word that you can't say in the English language.

Maybe it's just me, but I consider "farce" a "comic dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations," like Noises Off or Fire and Fury. It's not exactly farcical that decent people refrain from using a racial epithet that's indelibly linked to America's history of racial terrorism. No one's stopping you from saying the racial slur. There's no n-word police. Prager, however, believes there is an n-word police, and it's conservatism's favorite bogeyman, the "left." The left didn't drag him off to a reeducation camp for saying an anti-semitic slur, because the left doesn't give a damn about that word (or apparently Jews).

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John Kelly Says Fox News Makes You A Idiot. And By 'You,' He Means ...

He is just saying.

John Kelly, Donald Trump's former chief of staff, got a lot of attention for his speech the other day in which he said Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman had simply been doing his duty by testifying to Congress about Donald Trump's shakedown call to the president of Ukraine. Yesterday, the Washington Post's Philip Bump focused on another part of Kelly's speech at Drew University, in which Kelly also said, in essence, that a steady diet of Fox News is bad for your brain.

Sure, that's pretty obvious, but it's always a little remarkable when a Republican admits it.

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Hippie Enviros And Big Timber Reached A Deal, And Oregon GOP Is Losing Its Miiiiiiind

Wait, corporations care more about doing business than endless partisan war? Why?

As Oregon — or at least its most populous parts — has become an increasingly blue state, Republicans just don't know what to do with themselves, at least when they're not auctioning off semiautomatic rifles to honor Martin Luther King. There are still plenty of red counties once you get east of the Cascade Mountains, but the people they elect to the state legislature have been in the minority for some time, and have largely been reduced to just blocking as much legislation as they can manage — even if it means they have to bug out of the state to block climate legislation. The worst thing about their new status as the party of permanent obstruction? In the case of their walkout to prevent a vote on the cap-and-trade bill last June, it worked.

But now, the GOP delegation in the state lege faces a dire new threat: Some of the corporations Republicans assumed would always be on their side seem far more interested in making money than in sticking it to the Democratic majority. On Monday, a bunch of Oregon's timber industry groups announced they'd reached an agreement with a bunch of Oregon environmental groups — over two dozen industry and eco groups all together — to work with a mediator on future legislation. The two biggest goals are passing updates to the state's outdated forest-management laws, and creating a "statewide Habitat Conservation Plan" that would govern protections for endangered and threatened species on private timber acreage.

The memorandum of understanding between the industry and environmental groups should finally break a logjam (not a literal one) on legislation this session to regulate aerial pesticide spraying. The groups agreed to work together on the bill, and if it passes, neither side will launch lawsuits or ballot initiatives to block it. When she announced the agreement Monday, Gov. Kate Brown said it's "a genuine show of good faith from everyone involved" and that it would make sure "all key voices will be heard" in future legislation. Industry and environmental-group spokespeople made similar statements about playing nicely together and getting things done.

And that's why Republicans in the state Senate feel outraged and betrayed.

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Go To Jail, James Bakker. Again.

Bakker wants you to die of coronavirus, for Jesus.

Jim Bakker, that old I Need Your Money For Jesus huckster who did a five-year stint in the federal slammer for fleecing his flock faithful, has been back on low-budget cable for a few years now, mostly selling nigh-inedible survival meal buckets to get you through the End Times and explaining that Planned Parenthood performs Satanic rites, free with every abortion. Ever the kind of fellow to hop on the latest trend, Bakker is now hawking a "silver solution" that just might cure the COVID-19 coronavirus, which now has an official name. Here's the spiel, as captured by the nice folks at Right Wing Watch.

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Coming To Theaters, That Movie What Made Trump Sh*t His Underpants!

Somebody get the president a blanket and his pacifier, please.

Last August, Donald Trump was whining about a thing (no way!), and it was a movie called The Hunt, which, according to what simpleton conservatives on the internet had heard, was a jolly goodtime comedy story about some rich liberals who decided to go hunting for Donald Trump's deplorables and murder them a whole bunch. In the view of the right-wing internet, the existence of this film, which they had not seen, was just more proof that Hollywood was out to get them and murder them and turn them all gay, probably, we don't know, but they are usually whining that Hollywood is turning them gay, we think.

Anyway, the movie's release date got canceled, ostensibly because there had just been a couple of very bad mass shootings in America, which was hard to swallow because when have there ever not just been a couple of very bad mass shootings in America? It might have also been canceled because Donald Trump was tweeting things like this:

Point is, a hullabaloo occurred, and everybody involved with the movie decided to pull it back in August.

We hadn't heard of the movie until Trump started tweeting about it and learned that Fox News was mainlining the manufactured controversy about the film like it was crushed up Viagra on Rush Limbaugh's asshole. "Huh, we might want to see that movie," we thought, because we actually read some of the articles about it that weren't just wingnut howler monkey screeching, and learned it was a bit more complex than they were describing. For one thing, as its creators and writers — the same writers as the "Watchmen" not-TV-it's-HBO show, which Rebecca says is "enthralling" and therefore she will definitely watch this movie — explained many times, it's intended as satirical comment on American society, not as a literal how-to guide for hunting Trump's deplorables. For another thing — well, we don't know "for another thing," because like everyone else, we haven't seen the damn thing!

All of this is to say that the movie is coming out after all, on March 13. Ahead of its new release date, the studio is marketing it with a poster that says, "The most talked about movie of the year is one that no one's actually seen."

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BlazeTV Host Takes Home Oscar For Best Achievement In Twitter Bigotry

Jon Miller can't stand what "these people" are doing to his racist country.

I just heard the Academy Awards were last night. There wasn't any halftime show-related controversy, but apparently some people -- specifically bigots -- were upset that the South Korean film, Parasite, won Best Picture. Reportedly, this foreign-language film isn't even in English. but it also won best original screenplay not featuring an Avenger. Blaze TV host Jon Miller considered this an attack on the American way.

Parasite director Bong Joon-ho is Korean, so it's not a mystery why he spoke his native language. Koreans speaking Korean happens every day. It's not connected to the "destruction of America," which was Donald Trump's election. The part of Joon-ho's acceptance speech that he spoke in English was roughly equivalent to Prince's entire 1985 Oscar speech. I thought he was more than respectful of his audience.

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Cops Behaving Badly

How Many Liberals Can We Blame For The Shooting Of NYPD Officers?

It's a sick game with no winners.

Robert Williams shot two New York City police officers Saturday night. Sunday morning, he continued his rampage at a police precinct in the Bronx, where he opened fire and shot a police lieutenant. He also injured another officer who was trying to subdue him before being taken into custody.

This was a terrible act of violence, but now it seems the looming question is who else is responsible other than the actual gunman. The police union pinned blame on Democratic state legislators who are apparently soft on crime. Police Commissioner Dermot Shea believed police protestors were accomplices in the "premeditated assassination attempt."

SHEA: Just remember these things are not unrelated. We have people marching in New York City last week and I condemned it and I condemn it right here again today -- using profanities against the Police Department.

They are in fact completely unrelated. However, Mayor Bill De Blasio agreed with Shea's top-notch police work.

DE BLASIO: Anyone who spews hatred at our officers is aiding and abetting this kind of atmosphere. It's not acceptable. You can protest whatever for whatever you believe in, but you cannot vilely attack those who are here to protect us. It creates this kind of dynamic.

This a crazy irresponsible statement. Roughly 500 people gathered last month in Grand Central Terminal to protest the increased police presence in subways. Demonstrators held up signs stating "Poverty is not a crime" and "The real fare beaters are on Wall Street." Some even led a call-and-response chant: "How do you spell racist? N-Y-P-D." People might consider that rude, but it's also free speech. What it definitely isn't is criminal facilitation. Saying mean things about the police didn't provide Williams with either the means or the opportunity to shoot cops.

The mayor shouldn't use the term "aiding and abetting" metaphorically. It has a specific definition. If de Blasio has evidence that the protestors had previous knowledge of Williams's intentions and actively helped him in any way, he should contact the police. However, disagreeing with police tactics or even just straight-up disliking the police aren't the same on a moral or practical level as actually trying to murder police officers.

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Post-Racial America

Fertilizer CEO Slips, Falls Into His Own Racist Bullshit In Exchange With Uber Driver

Now former CEO will spend free time catching up on the 20th Century.

It's been a while since we last covered a racist who got fired for public racist-ing. Buckle up! Hans Berglund (no, not the guy from Die Hard) was until recently the CEO of Tempe, Arizona, fertilizer company Agroplasma. Berglund was forced out of the company after he was caught on video hurling racist bullshit (ha!) at an Uber driver.

Arizona State University student Randy Clarke, an Uber driver for the past four years, picked up Berglund outside his Scottsdale home on January 31. Berglund wanted to sit in the front, but Clarke asked him to sit in the back. This wasn't a Rosa Parks situation. Clarke said he prefers not to have riders sit up front after a drunken rider sexually assaulted him in 2018. That's a more than reasonable request and arguably safer for all parties. Berglund disagreed and quickly grew belligerent. He angrily told Clarke to cancel the ride and when Clarke agreed, Berglund said, "Are you fucking serious with me?" and got in the backseat anyway. He informed Clarke that he was going to call the manager file a complaint with Uber, and Clark at this point just wanted the guy to get out of his car. There's limited gain in giving a ride to someone who's just cursed you out and vowed professional retribution. You're looking at several minutes of tense conversation and probably no tip.

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Wonkette Book Club: Petty Revenge Against Critics? Glad *That's* A Thing Of The Past!

A generation of fuckery.

When we started reading our current Wonkette Book Club selection, Michael Isikoff and David Corn's Hubris: The Inside Story of Spin, Scandal, and the Selling of the Iraq War, I was pretty sure it would be a Very Timely Read because it sure as hell looked like Donald Trump and other rightwing warheads in and out of government were on the way to lying the USA into a whole new war, this time with Iran. And while the lies (even including fake claims about dark connections to 9/11) were certainly there, what looked like an inevitable war with Iran seems to have been shunted to the back burner -- at least until the next crisis.

Of course, now that we're reaching the last segment of our reading, which looks at how Iraq unspooled into forever war and the George W. Bush administration's rationale for invading Iraq was shown to be pure neoconservative wishful thinking, the current gang of idiots has handed us some dandy new parallels. Donald Trump is busy purging those who testified against him in the impeachment hearings, which certainly has some echoes of the Bush administration's efforts to slime and undercut critics of his Iraq war. Mind you, Trump does everything on a far grander, openly corrupt scale. His devotion to the doctrine of weaponized incompetence has turned the USA into a Chaos Emirate.

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Fragile Far-Right Troll Really Upset That Nancy Pelosi Ripped Up Some Papers

Gail Simone to the rescue!

The "fuck your feelings" crowd is weird. These are folks who enjoy misgendering trans people and fantasizing about brutally murdering women who have abortions. It's apparently very important to the American experiment that assholes are free to asshole without any personal fallout. Yet Nancy Pelosi ripping up a copy of a corrupt president's State of the Union address is an assault on civility. This is the same State of the Union where Trump presented the Presidential Medal of Freedom to one of the worst people who ever lived -- a racist slimeball who made millions of dollars mocking women's appearances when not calling them "sluts."

However, bullies aren't often known for their intellectual consistency. Former self-described "turbofeminist" turned far right "anti-SJW" internet troll Ian Miles Cheong described Pelosi's impromptu upper body workout as the "most classless act ever conducted in Congress." You're probably now wondering, "Who is Ian Miles Cheong and why should I care?" That's a reasonable response, and I'll try to do my best. Cheong is managing editor of the blog, Human Events. He's a fierce critic of so-called "cancel culture" (there is no such thing). In a 2017 column for the Daily Caller, Cheong criticized Variety's Jerry Lewis obituary for mentioning that the comedian often made racist and misogynistic comments. I'm old AF, but I still think Jerry Lewis is an odd hill to defend.

Award-winning comic book writer Gail Simone successfully diagnosed Cheong as an "ignoramus," a wonderfully descriptive term. You can't think of Cheong now without picturing him in a dunce cap.

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Nice Time

Nice Time! NYC Helping Out New Moms Like A Common Finland

But how will they become rugged individualists if they don't face postpartum stress and depression alone?

If this week has you doubting there's any hope at all, read this: New York City is doing something neat and smart and kind. Starting this spring in Brooklyn, and eventually expanding to the entire city, a new program will let new parents request home visits from baby experts -- that is, adults who know about babies, not babies, whose expertise is often limited to chewing their own feet and pooping. The idea is to help new parents make sense of the small squalling human beings who have suddenly invaded their homes, and to check up on how the parents are doing, too.

The program, with the straightforward name "New Family Home Visits," will provide up to six home visits from a nurse, community health worker, or doula, and will be available to all new parents. Heck, the visits will even be available to new adoptive parents and parents who used surrogates.

Blue babbling binkies! Did Finland (home of the free baby-supplies box that doubles as a crib) go and annex New York City while we weren't looking? If so, can Finland just take over altogether? This is what governments should be doing everywhere!

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Post-Racial America

Prada Promises To Cut Out The Blackface, Realize It's 2020

Fashion house reaches settlement with civil rights lawyer after blackface debacle.

Prada got in a bit of pickle in December 2018 when it oh-so-wisely decided to go with a blackface theme for the window of its downtown New York store. The fashion powerhouse was promoting its "Pradamalia" line, which featured -- and I quote -- "clothing, jewelry, key chains, cell phone cases, and leather items, ranging in price from $260 to $860, with imagery or figurines of monkey-like creatures with black faces and large red lips."

Seriously, how much do you have to hate black people to pay $860 for a blackface trinket? The strange blackface robots were what you might've seen in a low-budget film titled The Grand Dragon Conquers the Martians. Chinyere Ezie, a black woman and a civil rights lawyer (a potent combination), posted a photo of the disgraceful scene on Twitter, which went viral. It's unclear if Santa left a lump of coal in Prada's stocking, but if he did, the company might've used it to make another blackface figure.

Why does anyone still blackface? We'll never know what exactly compels them other than, you know, racism. Ezie filed a hella-pissed complaint with the New York City Commission on Human Rights, a law enforcement agency charged with "overseeing the city's human rights laws as they apply to housing, retail establishments and other areas." The commission spent the past year trying to put some sense in Prada's head. A settlement was finally reached Tuesday. This is good timing because it's fashion month and we want to raise enough awareness so that skinny white girls don't show up on runways in blackface. We don't care how "fierce" you think the look is. Don't do it.

Prada won't officially admit it's racist, but the company will commit to trying to appear less racist. It's a suburban soccer mom settlement.

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Come Not Watch The State Of The Union With Your Wonkette!

You. can. not. make me.

It has been a fucking week, it is only Tuesday, my eyeballs are about to fall out of my head and roll under the refrigerator, and I am WHINING ALL OVER THE TWITTER about POOR ME and I'M TIRED and THIS IS NEVER GOING TO END and I HAVEN'T STOPPED WORKING BEFORE 11:30 PM IN WEEKS and OH MY GOD THERE'S A DEBATE TO LIVEBLOG FRIDAY NIGHT TOO.

If you think I'm about to watch that choad and his State of the Choad, I have a secret and it is FUCK YOU.

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Screw Sports, Let's All Watch Some 'Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?' Sequels On YouTube!

It's free!

So! There is apparently some kind of sports thing on the television today, if you hadn't heard. I don't plan on watching it, on account of how I don't care. The downside to not caring about the Super Bowl, of course, is that it makes today a very boring day. Everyone you know is probably watching the Super Bowl today, and all of the bars that you might normally go to are also showing the Super Bowl today.


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Can Someone Just Lock Chris Cillizza In A Room Somewhere Until America Isn't Broken?

We just can't anymore with his 'both sides' crap.

Chris Cillizza is exhausting. His takes, which CNN unleashes on the world, are always mind-numbingly stupid. You'd think even someone as offensively mediocre as Cillizza could "analyze" Donald Trump's sham impeachment trial without tripping over his shoelaces, but no, Cillizza offered up some GOP-enabling "both sides" garbage Thursday.

Jesus Christ. Poor middle-of-the-road, straight-shooting Cillizza hoped that he'd see some dispassionate information seeking during the 16 hours when senators could ask the House impeachment managers and Trump's Legion of Doom defense team. Instead, he was served egg noodles and ketchup with a side of partisan posturing. Why or why are Democrats so "deeply entrenched" in their view that the president shouldn't sic foreign nations on his political opponents? Why are they "so convinced of their rightness" that they won't at least "consider" the the opposing view that Donald Trump should remain president for life? It's truly "everything wrong with our politics."

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Kickass Congresswomen Help Sick Migrant Six-Year-Old Girl

But kids with severe medical issues shouldn't need a congressional delegation to get help.

In the bleak hellscape of Donald Trump's immigration policy, we occasionally get glimpses of hope and moments of good news, like this story of how several members of Congress managed to get help for a 6-year-old girl with Down syndrome and a heart condition. The girl and her family -- her mother and an eight-year-old brother -- fled Central America, and had passed an initial screening in their asylum case. But under the Trump administration's latest strategy to restrict asylum, they were still forced to stay for three months in an unsafe camp in Matamoros, Mexico. Earlier this month, a congressional delegation managed to arrange entry to the US for the girl and her family, a day after US Customs and Border Protection had refused to let her into the country.

Why yes, the USA is happy to let kids face death, at least until somebody with connections steps in on their behalf.

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