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Cute Symbol of Global Warming Now Up For Sale

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Gas will soon cost less than a buck a gallon, as nobody has a dollar, and nobody has a job to drive to anyway. Even Wal-Marts are closing down. And now Knut the cute polar bear, who was photographed topless by Annie Leibovitz for Vanity Fair just last year, is an unwanted and unloved victim of the global economic meltdown.

Knut used to be the darling of that other global meltdown story we used to pretend to worry about, back when we had food and iPhones and wifi dildos from The Sharper Image. But now Knut is all washed up, just a big-ass nasty-ass smelly fish-suckin' sack of off-white shit, all growling at children. Nobody wants to see that. These days -- even in a previously wealthy socialist-Nazi state such as Germany, where Knut currently lives -- humans will not pay money to see animals unless those animals are being cooked up, for dinner, for the people to eat.

So the Berlin Zoo is saying good-bye to the polar bear. Do you want this washed-up animal? Call the zoo, we guess, and speak German. It might be cheaper if you have it killed there and just sent in pieces, by DHL. [DHL just went out of business in America. Sorry. -- Ed.]

This is the second time the dumb beast has been abandoned -- the first time, Knut's own mother didn't want him. And that was when he was all cute and fuzzy!

The same sorta deal happened to Washington's magic panda mascot, Butterstick. It was all cute and also a baby, but then it grew into the usual D.C. adolescent (a crack whore) and that was the end of that.

Let's take a moment to remember "The Cute Knut."

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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