* America gets "swift boated" by President Bush's recess appointments. [NYT, LAT]

* Alberto Gonzales is in front of the mirror every night working on his "I am not a crook." [WP]

* Limits of "Iowa nice" are tested by listening to Rudy Giuliani's "I can get things done" speech. [WP]

* Americans have no problem writing checks or clicking "donate now," for Barry Hussein, proving they don't discriminate against people with big ears. [WP, NYT, LAT, WSJ, USAT]

* Elizabeth Edwards thinks WaPo staff writers are weak willed. And you, you pussy. [WP]

* Nancy Pelosi finds Syrians less goofy than Moroccans, less gay than Lebanese, more down to Earth than Egyptians. [NYT, LAT]