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Dana Perino Joins Mark Penn's Firm

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Former Bush spokesmodels who do not know what theCuban Missile Crisis was, finding work with reptilian Cheetos-addicted statisticians: it's a Microtrend! Dana Perino recently joined this elite demographic when she was hired on at Mark Penn's PR outfit to "communicate" things for "clients," who include Lucifer and the reanimated corpse of Kenneth Lay. [Wall Street Journal]

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Can the breaking news take a fucking break for five seconds so we can start getting in gear for eating nine million calories of food and being thankful for everything we ...

No?

Fine, go, New York Times:

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Would you like to watch a joyful video featuring America's last competent and smart and sexxxy president, Barry Bamz-A-Lot McGee? Of course you would! You are probably already traveling for Thanksgiving, so STOP WATCHING THIS VIDEO WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING, IDIOT. But if you are not currently operating a motor vehicle, please proceed with this post!

Anyway, Barack Obama was saying words at his Obummer Foundation Summit, put on by the Nobummer Foundation, and he was talking about why it's so dang hard for America to actually get Great Again in these trying times. He didn't mention Donald Trump's name, because he only does that when he really wants to, but he sure did list some of the things that are holding us (read: Trump) back. You know, like racism.

And "mommy issues."

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