Release The Bees And Let Us Warm Ourselves On This Wicker Man David Brooks
Now that Republicans in the Senate have formally endorsed Donald Trump's Ukraine fuckery and made it clear he can do anything he wants, America's Greatest Moderate, David Brooks, has thoughts. No doubt he'll flesh them out in a full column for the New York Times tomorrow, but it will pretty much be this tweet, again and again and again:
We are left wondering yet again what version of Earth David Brooks resides on. Particularly as we've been trying to write this while the very reasonable Donald Trump ranted very presidentially on live TV about the need to exact vengeance on all his enemies.
Now, if you want to get all technical about it, it may be worth noting that for the first two years of Trump's term, Congress was run by Republicans, who maybe could have passed a roads and bridges bill during one or four of the many Infrastructure Weeks. (Trump actually did offer a proposal that nobody remembers, because it was shit.) Mostly, they spent their time trying to gut Obamacare and passing a big fat tax cut for rich assholes. Every now and then, there would be murmurs of Brooksian bipartisanship, but Donald Trump always blew that shit up with a tantrum because he and his closest pals are assholes.
And since Democrats took control of the House, they have certainly been busy passing bills that some future sane administration can take off the shelf and turn into actual laws. That would be nearly 400 bills passed in the House and now gathering dust somewhere in Mitch McConnell's underground turtle sex dungeon. Including -- why yes indeed! -- early childhood education.
Infrastructure? Yeah, Trump had a meeting scheduled in May to talk about it with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, but instead, he stormed out and delivered another of his deranged You People Can't Investigate Me rants. Yes, yes, Brooks would probably say. Trump's tantrum was obviously the Democrats' fault, and that's why nothing happened with infrastructure. Even after that, in November, Democrats were still trying to push a major infrastructure bill, but they were probably just faking it since they were also impeaching Trump. Shame on them for working on bills they knew he'd never support!
Sure, the House did pass some stupid bills to prevent gun violence, protect workers' rights, and reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act. The very first bill of the new Congress would have protected voting rights nationwide. But darn it, none of those count, because didn't you see David Brooks's wisdom there?
But passing bills doesn't matter, because all that friction over Trump's completely innocent obstruction of justice and abuse of power completely destroyed any chance of bipartisan unity. David Brooks is pretty much just endorsing Trump's State of the Union address last year, when he said, with soaring rhetoric worthy of a Martin Luther King or John F. Kennedy, "If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation. It just doesn't work that way!"
Why not? Duh, it just doesn't. Any fool -- which would be any fan of David Brooks -- knows that the only way to get things done is to reach reasonable compromises, which means doing everything Republicans want. Man has a brand and he's sticking with it.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.