D.C. Officials Pretend Fireworks Spectacular Is Terrorist Attack
City officials have deemed that last night's test of a new city emergency evacuation system "went really well." Supposedly a "sobering nod to post-Sept. 11 reality," the test consisted of directing traffic outward following the fireworks display on the Mall. Somehow, we aren't comforted: Hey, people sure got out of the building fast during our 5PM fire drill! Seriously, we think the District has learned a valuable lesson -- emergency plans can go quite smoothly once you've eliminated all the screaming and running for your lives and whatnot that come with a real emergency.— WONKETTE
At D.C.'s Party, Spectacle and Security [WP]
Evacuation Map [DCEMA]