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D.C. Schools: Some Children Left Behind

"America's Newspaper," the Washington Times, reports today that nearly a quarter of D.C. students were chronically truant last year. Duke Ellington School for the Arts had a 70% truancy rate; a couple of elementary schools came in with a rate of 40%. (Where the hell do you go nowadays when you skip elementary school? Back in our time, most of the bars carded us as pre-teens. We had to do our drinking the old-fashioned way—stealing liquor from convenience stores.)


How to look on the bright side, from D.C. school system's director of intervention: "We certainly have more children attending than not attending." It's an excellent point! We show up to work more frequently than we don't, for instance. Also? Days without alcohol-related blackouts slightly more frequent than days with blackouts. We like these low standards!

Almost a quarter of D.C. students were truant [Washington Times]

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