white house

D.C.: The Gayest Little Place On Earth

February 14, 2005 05:24 PM

My mother used to have an expression: when you're at the disco, the whole world looks gay. So when anonymous people start reporting they've seen White House Chief Pressbot Scott McClellan in a gay bar -- in March of 1995, even, and in Texas -- well, in light of current events, let's just say y'all are seeing a mirage of homos everywhere. A fine mist of homosexuality is coating your lenses. Seriously, it's like fucking 1989 out here on the internets.

Besides: it's not like a little sex with other men would make him gay anyway. —C.S.

Reporter with prostitution links and false name got access to Bush; Questions surface on relationship with White House staff [Raw Story]

Choire

Trump Will Now Murder Iran For Hurting His Feelings And Calling Him 'Retarded'

So you know, there's that.

Everywhere Else News

Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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border patrol immigrant kids john sanders kevin mcaleenan customs and border protection kirstjen nielsen stephen miller cbp cbp commisioner resigns baby jails health and human services office of refugee resettlement clint texas alex azar congress border funding asylum seekers immigration

100 Refugee Kids Rescued From Clint, Texas, Turned Around And Sent Back To Clint, Texas

Also, the Border Protection commissioner got shitcanned.

Immigrants

John Sanders high-fives a child who is not in a filthy border jail run by his agency. (US CBP photo)

The news is coming at us so fast we have to double up stories -- like little children being crammed into border detention cells without enough blankets for everyone, that is what it is like. Tuesday, we learned Acting Customs and Border Protection Commissioner John Sanders, who has only been in the job for two months, will resign effective July 5, and will be replaced by current Acting ICE Director Mark Morgan.

The news of Sanders's resignation came by pure coincidence just hours after a CBP official told the Washington Post that 100 children would be returned to a Border Patrol detention facility in Clint, Texas; this was quite a surprise given that CBP had rushed to get over 300 kids out of that same border jail starting Monday, after lawyers reported the kids were filthy and poorly fed, and that the care of very young children had been left to slightly older kids -- like seven and eight years old. Probably just a coincidence that Sanders is deserting ship just as the news is full of just how horrible those baby jails were -- in this administration, that's something to be proud of.

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