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Dean Hrbacek, Republican for Congress

I crack myself upDean Hrbacek is from Sugar Land, Texas, the home of former Congressman Tom "Corrupt Asshole" DeLay and he's one of 10 Republicans vying for the right to challenge Democratic Congressman Nick Lampson for his seat in the fall. He's also, apparently, a bit pudgy. So pudgy, in fact, that his own staff Photoshopped his head onto the body of a slimmer man, ostensibly because he didn't have the time to sit for a portrait for his campaign literature. His chief of staff, Scott Broschart said, "He may appreciate that we took a few pounds off him," so we thought we'd earn some of his appreciation by helping out just a little bit more. [Houston Chronicle]

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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