Decoding the Note: A(n) (Owl) Cry for Help (?)
All right, our Note-induced case of the vapors has subsided long enough to review the responses to our plea for assitance in deciphering today's Halperinite headline-for-one, "The Owl Flies West (?)" Responses were gratifyingly varied and imaginative, but it's been our experience in such unnerving cases that it's best to hew to the most straightforward explanation. To wit, the enclosed from Reader D.S.:
Oh, poor benighted Wonkette scribes. How foolish you are to misapprehend the significance of nocturnal predators.
The owl, of course, is traditionally a symbol of wisdom. West is the direction in which the sun sets, terminating the day. The sun also is a symbol of wisdom and intelligence.
It is clear then, that "The Owl Flies West(?)" is a reference to the fact that the wisdom and intelligence of the Note is dying. In short, they all is going bugfuck crazy.
Indeed, the parenthetical punctuation suggests that like Hamlet, the Note is unsure of its own insanity, perhaps holding out hope that it is not nuts, and some bird somewhere is actually westward bound.
And the one Note Reader for whom the message is intended? I'll give you a hint: it begins with "p" and ends with "sychiatrist." (?)
Let's hope the Note makes a speedy recovery(,)
And here we thought we had it worked out that "Owl" was code for "Matt Cooper," perched in the precarious upper limbs of Scooter Libby's turning "aspens." Or that Harriet Miers was set to resume feeding on small rodents in the Texas plains. But we confess, "bugfuck crazy" does seem to fit better with the evidence. We, too, wish the Note a rapid, restorative convalescence. Our prescription: 350 mg of Zoloft, a DVD compilation of soothing Dan Bartlett talking points, and a copy of The Treason of the Senate. Oh, and no punctuation privileges for at least 60 days. --HOLLY MARTINS